(Closed) Guest List Woes

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since you are in control of the invites going out, if she doesn’t adjust the list, FI (and trust me, make this come from him and not you) needs to tell her “Fine, then we won’t be sending these unknown people invites at all.”

Or, another way to handle this- divide the guest list. Ex: each family gets 40 guests, you and FI each get 35 guests. If it is SO important for FMIL that random-cousin’s teenage BF is there, then she can cut someone else from her list.


Post # 4
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jeg14:  Let your FI handle this. It is fine to have a cutoff age or child free wedding. His Mom is incorrect about that. And trying to include the kids boyfriends? I can’t even.

Your FI can just call his Mom and tell her to revise the guest list to omit all children under 13. He needs to be firm so she doesn’t try to sneak any in and he also needs to tell her you are not extending invitations to people you don’t want to come. Not to mention, if she thinks they won’t come, why is it a problem not to invite them?

Post # 5
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@rebwana:  +1, totally agree with the giving each family a number of invites.


I’m having guest list woes with FMIL not being capable of telling people they aren’t invited. At the end of the day, though, she gets 70 people (90 if you include FI’s invites). I told her I don’t care who she invites, but she only gets 70.

Make her decide if those distant family friends children’s boyfriends are important enough. You control invites, so if she gives you a list of 5 more people, tell FI to take off 5 of the people he doesn’t know. That will wake her up really quickly.

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