(Closed) Guest list – Yikes!

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Of the out of towners, how many do you expect will attend?  Do you have any idea?  That’s probably the key.

Post # 4
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

If your venue only seats 180, that is the fire code max. You cannot add more people. If your invites have gone out already, you will need to find a different venue ASAP. If they haven’t, then you either need to cut the guest list or find a different venue.

If you are cutting the guest list, only invite people whom you absolutely want to attend. Don’t invite people out of obligation for any reason just to fill seats.

As far as how many people will attend, you will not have any clue until people start replying. You can calculate all the formulas in the world that folks suggest and none will be correct. There have been cases where brides said they didn’t expect anyone and they ended up with 100% attendance that they did not prepare for at all. You don’t want to be one of those brides. Living cross country or even a couple hours away does not stop people from attending if they want to be there. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise since it does happen frequently.

Post # 6
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I see you’re in NYC, too.  Here’s what I learned — some of my OOT’s that I didn’t expect are planning on coming because it’s an excuse to come to NYC.  As in my Aunt and Uncle who I’ve seen exactly twice in the last 15 years and who don’t fly.  That’s something I didn’t factor in.  Our site holds 100.  My FI and I are inviting 98 (+ us = 100).  And then for every “no” we receive the first 3 weeks (we’re sending invites 10 weeks out), we’ll turn around and send another to the top of our “B” list. 

Also, no “and guests” unless you are married, engaged or living with your SO.  No exceptions.  It’s hurt a couple of feelings, but for the most part people understand when they know we are limited by our venue. 

I’ve found that people in general are very understanding when I say “We’re having a smaller wedding.” or “Our venue just can’t hold everyone we want there on our day.”

Good luck!  I know it’s stressful.

Post # 7
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I know it’s advised against, but our venue held 175, and we invited 214.  168 came, so it worked out.  Like you, we had a lot of out of town relatives (except they were 4 hours away).  We also invited children knowing a lot of couples would leave them at home.

I might still trim the list and get it down to 210-215 if I were you.

Post # 11
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wouldn’t even so a B list- because chances are you are going to fill your max with the A list. Just cut your list down to 200 in general

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