- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
Well I’ve been engaged for exactly 1 week so I guess I was due for some drama.
Right after we got engaged we loosely spoke to my dad about what we wanted in a wedding ( we were staying at his house for he week). I grew up being told that my father would pay for my wedding (let me just say that my dad is very well off- I am not lol). In our talks I mentioned that only serious relationships got a plus one, how many guests we wanted, the cost of the venue we looked at etc etc..m
The next day I get an email from my dad (While I was staying in his house). This email did not sound like an email from father to daughter, but from business associate to business associate.
In it, he stated that he would pay for less than half (fine, it’s his $ and his prerogative). But then the demands came.
– A list of 25 people I HAVE to invite (including his girlfriend’s parents, her 16 year old niece and her boyfriend, and a great aunt I’ve never met)
– The term that my mother (who is not well off) MUST pay a significant portion (which he required proof of) or she will “not be permitted to attend”.
– The term that we must pay a significant portion along with my FMIL
– The term that all family be invited with a guest.
-The closing that “these terms and conditions are non negotiable”
Now, if he was paying for everything, fine. But with us paying for over half and with our venue’s space limitations we can’t afford all these demands. Fiance has a huge family and we already have to cut down our list from 160 to 135.
We are not having an expensive extravagant wedding, so I guess I’m kind of hurt that he won’t be paying for our wedding when its seriously a drop in the bucket for him- I think he’s trying to prove a point?
How do I get across that less than half the cost of the wedding does not buy him control without seeming like I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth?
How do we cut our guest list by 25?
How do I accept a financial contribution without relinquishing control of our wedding?