Post # 1
Hey Ladies, I have a question as a guest – and would really appreciate your advice…
My good friend got married abroad earlier this year. I flew half way round the world to be there, and it was a great. She is having a party at home this summer as well. I’ve been invited, but nothing said about a guest – this was before she knew about my boyfriend (no official invitations have been sent, it is a casual BBQ).
My question is this… In this situation, how would you feel if I asked to bring my boyfriend? We’ve been together 3 months?
The reason I ask is because I also live abroad, and only get to come home twice a year. This year I timed my trip so that I can come to her BBQ, but I am also bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family. It would be inconsiderate of me to leave my boyfriend alone for the only Saturday night of our trip, but it is also rude to ask if he can come… What would you do?
I think I have decided not to say anything and hope for an invite (she already knows he is coming from a conversation unrelated to the party). If it doesn’t come then I will not go, and try not to cause any drama over it. Does that sound reasonable?
Post # 3
I would just ask her, it doesn’t seem like it should be a big deal.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Considering the circumstances, I don’t think it’s rude to ask to bring him. The event’s casual, and he’s traveled to meet your family. You could always ask her in advance- “Will the invitation include BF?”
Post # 5
@123chicago: if she is that good of a friend i dont see why you would not call her and just ask.
i would. and if she says no he cant then i would not go only caz he is traveling with you to meet your family and it would be rude to leave him alone besides if i were your friend id definitely want to meet the man that’s making my bff happy ; )
Post # 6
OK, good points. Guess I don’t need to make it more compicated than it needs to be. I just feel bad asking.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would ask your friend if she’s ok with it– just like you explained here– it’s a long trip for you, and it would be a bummer to have to leave him behind. Especially since it’s a casual affair, I don’t think it would be much issue for her.
Post # 8
I say ask. Try to be understanding if she says no, but I can’t imagine she would, given the circumstance. I would also hesitate, but it really is what I’m going to call “extrordinary circumstances” so I say ask and explain that he coming all that way and you’d love for him to be able to meet them!
Post # 9
@123chicago: I agree that you should just ask, and you can even say something like, “I feel bad asking and I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but I just wanted to check with you to see if it would be okay for Boyfriend or Best Friend to come. I’d love to introduce him to you!” You can also add something about you hardly ever being able to come home, and he’ll be joining you for the trip to meet your family. If you were my friend, I would definitely want you to bring your boyfriend!
Post # 10
Thanks guys, I think I will just ask 🙂