(Closed) guest plus 1

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

You are not being unreasonable.  Just calmly and confidently tell these people that you can’t accommodate extra guests, because of budgetary/space or whatever reason you want to give (although technically, you don’t have to give a reason at all).  It is pretty audacious to add in "and guest" on a reply card!  At least come up with a name!

I can’t stand this either.  We are going to do the same thing (invite only serious bfs/gfs dates ONLY.  I don’t want random people, either!), and I think most people these days are respectful of the ballooning costs of weddings.  Stay strong — and good luck!

Post # 4
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We have the same policy on the guest list, and I expect that we will have to make a few calls as well.  Just be nice – assume that they really didn’t understand, rather than that they are just being rude.  Tell them while you would really love to allow everyone to bring a date, your space/catering/budget/whatever limitations make that not possible, and thank them for understanding.  Maybe let them know that you expect they won’t be the only single people there…  some people are just so insecure that they have a hard time contemplating going to an event without the security blanket of a date or a friend.  As long as they know they won’t be the only single there, they should be okay.  And don’t feel bad about standing firm!!  You are not being unreasonable.  If they insist they must bring a random guest, they are the unreasonable ones.

Post # 5
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Definitely stand firm and let them know that they can’t birng a guest.  I agree that you should be nice, though–remember that if they haven’t been through wedding planning themselves, they really have no idea how much it costs; they might not even know that the wedding is paid for per head.  One of my husband’s friends sent back his response a bit late with profuse apologies; he had done so only after another friend, who got married last year, explained that weddings are paid for per person.  He truly had no idea.  If you’ve only ever thrown a casual party, how would you know?

Post # 7
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Until I met all you wonderful girls I didn’t realize the etiquette of the "name on invite is only person/people invited" thing. Being a single guy I doubt very much that he is privy to such info either. And even if he was informed maybe just doens’t really get it.

I don’t think he’s intentionally trying to be rude, so a quick phone call ought to clear things up.  Though I can assure you he will be a tidge annoyed, which is why I avoided the whole thing in the first place and allowed dates. Heck, there’s reletives there I’ll never see again, or saw before the day of my wedding… at least I have a etter chace of seeing one of my friends bf’s or gf’s again.

Let me know how it goes! 

Post # 8
123 posts
Blushing bee

Stay firm ! Not only is it extra cost, it’s unfair to those who followed "the rule".

The topic ‘guest plus 1’ is closed to new replies.

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