Guest requesting ceremony time change

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you consider changing the time?

    Yes

    No

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    8409 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    View original reply
    h00per :  

    • As a guest, would you send a request like this? — No.
    • As a couple, would you change your timeline? — No.

    Unless this is a parent or other super VIP, I would respond back with a simple “That won’t work. I hope you can make it but understand completely if not.” and not give it another thought.

    Post # 3
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA

    Nope.  They can always leave the wedding reception earlier if they need to, it’s not fair of them to ask you to move your wedding timeline!

    Post # 5
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA

    View original reply
    h00per :  Yea, even then though it’s a little tricky considering you’ve already told guests it would be a 3-3:30pm start.  By moving the time it’s possible other guests wouldn’t be able to make it. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2699 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    If they can leave the next morning, there is absolutely no reason they can’t attend a later wedding. Tell them that it doesn’t fit with the timeline to move the wedding earlier since you want to have dinner following the ceremony, so the answer is no. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    3653 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    That’s incredibly rude of them to ask. Guests have exactly one decision to make, will they or won’t they attend the wedding. They don’t get to make special requests or ask you to change your wedding to accommodate just them. What if before 3 didn’t work for someone else?

    I would never think to ask that as guest, and I’d let them know that unfortunately you aren’t able to change the time.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2948 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    Big no. 

    3 pm is a very normal time for a wedding ceremony and pretty much what most people will expect and plan around until they hear otherwise. It seems super weird to me that anyone would ask you to move it “a bit earlier”. 

    What even is a “a bit earlier”? An hour? Two hours? Would an hour or two even make a meaningful difference for them? Are they planning on leaving right after the ceremony? Or after dinner? 

    If they’re not planning to leave til sometime after dinner then changing the ceremony time doesn’t make any difference anyways and you certainly don’t want to push dinner super early just so a couple of guests can leave immediately after. That just make no sense at all. 

    I genuinely do not understand what they’re asking you or why…. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    340 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

    I’d tell them it won’t work and you hope they can be there but understand if they can’t. It baffles me when guests ask such questions – for me, this would be right up there with inviting someone who wasn’t addressed on the invite. Just be polite but firm and then once you’ve addressed it focus on planning the rest of your wedding! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee

    No way in heck…I can’t even believe they asked that. First that’s super rude, second, who are they that would make them important enough to change not only your plans (after planning for goodness knows how long) but 59 other guests! The ONLY guests I would change plans for are parents. And they would have known long enough ahead to plan accordingly or let the bride/groom know of definite time restrictions

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    828 posts
    Busy bee

    Uhhh are they serious? That is so rude. I’d be tempted to reply something like “no sorry we will not be changing our wedding ceremony time, which a lot of thought and planning has already gone into, to accommodate your family’s travel arrangements” to hopefully get the message across of how self centered they are being

    Post # 12
    Member
    7229 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I most definitely would not even for a moment consider changing the layout of my ENTIRE day to accommodate them.

    I would be so tempted to just write back

    GTFOH.

    Post # 13
    Member
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I can’t even imagine asking this.

    Post # 14
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    View original reply
    h00per :  No way, and it’s TOTALLY inappropriate for the guest to have asked that of you.

    Post # 15
    Member
    10196 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Wait.  What?  Are these people royalty or something?  What a thoroughly obnoxious request.  Are they unaware that wedding venues are booked 12-18 months in advance?

    And you’re expected to contact every single guest and tell them, “Oh, by the way, we made a schedule change”, so they can completely alter their travel and sitter plans?  WTAF?

     

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