Post # 1
Heyo Bees. Our ceremony and reception are at the same location, smallish place. We chose our date and booked the venue since we were a little under a year away and it was filling up. We will be inviting 60 guests. The wedding date has been spread by word of mouth so far, with either a 3 or 3:30pm ceremony, cocktail hour/photos, dinner, music-making and dancing.
FH and I have just received an email from a family member asking if we could possibly have our ceremony begin earlier than 3pm. They were planning to travel the day before, but now would like to leave either late the night of our wedding or the next morning. What do you think? I’m worried that having the ceremony earlier will leave too much downtime before dinner, or the whole timeline will be moved up.
It’s a bit awkward. As a guest, would you send a request like this? As a couple, would you change your timeline? I’m not even sure how much earlier would make a difference for them (no I haven’t replied or asked yet).
Post # 2
- As a guest, would you send a request like this? — No.
- As a couple, would you change your timeline? — No.
Unless this is a parent or other super VIP, I would respond back with a simple “That won’t work. I hope you can make it but understand completely if not.” and not give it another thought.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA
Nope. They can always leave the wedding reception earlier if they need to, it’s not fair of them to ask you to move your wedding timeline!
Post # 4
That’s what I’m thinking. The only thing that factors in is travel time. The venue is two hours away, so I kind of get it. At the same time, the distance makes it so even bumping everything earlier probably still won’t be ideal for them. I feel like they’re asking because they want to be there, which is nice. I’m just not sure it will make a difference unless we have a lunch reception instead of dinner.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2019 - Santa Barbara, CA
Yea, even then though it’s a little tricky considering you’ve already told guests it would be a 3-3:30pm start. By moving the time it’s possible other guests wouldn’t be able to make it.
Post # 6
If they can leave the next morning, there is absolutely no reason they can’t attend a later wedding. Tell them that it doesn’t fit with the timeline to move the wedding earlier since you want to have dinner following the ceremony, so the answer is no.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
That’s incredibly rude of them to ask. Guests have exactly one decision to make, will they or won’t they attend the wedding. They don’t get to make special requests or ask you to change your wedding to accommodate just them. What if before 3 didn’t work for someone else?
I would never think to ask that as guest, and I’d let them know that unfortunately you aren’t able to change the time.
Post # 8
3 pm is a very normal time for a wedding ceremony and pretty much what most people will expect and plan around until they hear otherwise. It seems super weird to me that anyone would ask you to move it “a bit earlier”.
What even is a “a bit earlier”? An hour? Two hours? Would an hour or two even make a meaningful difference for them? Are they planning on leaving right after the ceremony? Or after dinner?
If they’re not planning to leave til sometime after dinner then changing the ceremony time doesn’t make any difference anyways and you certainly don’t want to push dinner super early just so a couple of guests can leave immediately after. That just make no sense at all.
I genuinely do not understand what they’re asking you or why….
Post # 9
- Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria
I’d tell them it won’t work and you hope they can be there but understand if they can’t. It baffles me when guests ask such questions – for me, this would be right up there with inviting someone who wasn’t addressed on the invite. Just be polite but firm and then once you’ve addressed it focus on planning the rest of your wedding!
Post # 10
No way in heck…I can’t even believe they asked that. First that’s super rude, second, who are they that would make them important enough to change not only your plans (after planning for goodness knows how long) but 59 other guests! The ONLY guests I would change plans for are parents. And they would have known long enough ahead to plan accordingly or let the bride/groom know of definite time restrictions
Post # 11
Uhhh are they serious? That is so rude. I’d be tempted to reply something like “no sorry we will not be changing our wedding ceremony time, which a lot of thought and planning has already gone into, to accommodate your family’s travel arrangements” to hopefully get the message across of how self centered they are being
Post # 12
I most definitely would not even for a moment consider changing the layout of my ENTIRE day to accommodate them.
I would be so tempted to just write back
Post # 13
I can’t even imagine asking this.
Post # 14
No way, and it’s TOTALLY inappropriate for the guest to have asked that of you.
Post # 15
Wait. What? Are these people royalty or something? What a thoroughly obnoxious request. Are they unaware that wedding venues are booked 12-18 months in advance?
And you’re expected to contact every single guest and tell them, “Oh, by the way, we made a schedule change”, so they can completely alter their travel and sitter plans? WTAF?