(Closed) guest rsvp'd but is telling people she may not show?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@breadandbutterflies:  Definitely ask her about it, esp. if you’re still at a point where you can change the head count for the caterer.

Post # 4
12976 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d ask, and say you heard rumors than she may not be coming and wanted to confirm with her since her response card did indicate that she would be there.

Post # 5
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sounds like she probably shouldn’t have been invited if she’s that type. Normally I’d never ask but if I’d heard that she was telling several people she may not come I’d call her on it.

Post # 6
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I know this will be an unpopular response, but: I would take her and her guest out of the head count so as to not risk paying for no-shows. If they do come, adding two plates shouldn’t be a huge problem (and you may end up with other last-minute no-shows that they just end up replacing), but if you have more than a reasonable doubt that they might not come, I would lowball the headcount.

Post # 8
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I like the idea the PP said…  just say something casual like “I heard you may not be able to make it…”  and see where the conversation goes frm there.

Post # 9
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@KCKnd2:  Yah. I’d do that. Like WTF? She’s only coming to steal a centerpiece?? 

Post # 10
2893 posts
Sugar bee

@KCKnd2:  Agreed. Lowball the count. If there is a last minute add there is a last minute add and if she has an issue with that just tell her what you were told.

Post # 11
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would lessen your final headcount by one, that way you cover one out of her and her guest but are not out for 2 meals if they don’t show. Caterers typically make a certain percentage above your head count just incase, so 1 plate shouldn’t be an issue.

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