Guest Standing During The Ceremony? POLL

posted 1 month ago in Ceremony
  • poll: How long would you be willing to stand for a ceremony?
    No more than 20 minutes : (11 votes)
    6 %
    No more than 15 minutes : (12 votes)
    7 %
    Seat for everyone would be best : (144 votes)
    85 %
    You're overthinking it because you're two weeks out :) : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 31
    8919 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    frenchtoastvegan :  “As a guest, how would you feel about this?” — honestly, I would probably skip it. Standing ceremony + cocktail reception = no thanks. I would come for first degree relatives (my parents, sibs, and kids) and a small subset of second degree. I don’t have any aunts, uncles, cousins, or even friends close enough that I would be willing to spend 6 hours without a designated seat.

    I still don’t understand the snag though. You told them you have 75 guests, they originally said “no problem”, and now they’re saying “oh sure, we can fit 75 PEOPLE but not 75 CHAIRS” ? That seems like a huge scam and I would push it back on them to fix, rather than expect guests to stand. 

    Post # 32
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    OP… I know you didn’t plan it this way, so I think you need help not criticism. How many people are expected and how many chairs will be provided by the venue for the ceremony? There are usually some no-shows.

    Post # 33
    8276 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    frenchtoastvegan :  I haven’t read all the comments but if the ceremony is going to be anything out of the ordinary I’d give people a heads up. I once went to a winter wedding that had an outdoor ceremony but we were warned and able to dress appropriately for the weather. If I hadn’t been warned and then found out I had to walk in snow in heels to stand for 20 minutes I honestly probably would have straight up skipped the ceremony and met them at the reception. But we had warning so I wore boots and it was fine. Communication is key to keeping people happy. 

    Post # 34
    4993 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    You need you get more chairs/benches/seating asap. 

    Post # 35
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I just attended a wedding where most of the guests were made to stand during the ceremony. The ceremony area sat about 20 people and the rest of (50 plus guests) were made to stand. It came as a surprise and it was an unpleasant experience. I was wearing heels and most females were too since it was an evening formal wedding. The ceremony was short so I was thankful for that but it just feels almost like a backhand to the face because we all came out to support and we are happy to be there but I feel like you owe it to your guests to accomadate them. 

    It comes across as if the groom and bride do not care about their guests. I just wouldnt do it. For my wedding everyone had a sit and I never once thought about making people stand or have people be uncomfortable. 

    Post # 36
    5766 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I’ve honestly never heard of a ceremony where guests have to stand so I would be pretty taken aback!

    Post # 37
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I have been to a few weddings where I had to stand, and at ours maybe half the people ended up having to stand. The venue claimed it could fit our amount of people in their outside space, but once we put out chairs we realized it couldn’t. We served water/beer and had a 15 min ceremony. I didn’t hear anyone complain 🤷‍♀️ So I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal 

    Post # 38
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    mrsnnn3 :  Trust me..they complained. Just not to you. 

    Post # 39
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    to be completely honest, I’ve been to a wedding where the ceremony was standing room only, and then they had a standing reception too. I was on my heels ALL NIGHT and my feet practically fell off when we got home. It also meant that people were already tired by the time dancing started, so the dance floor was a bit lackluster, and a lot of people left early too.

    Sitting is not just for elderly relatives. Everyone gets tired. I’m a bit worried for you that it’s too much standing. If I were you, I would really try to get seats for the ceremony.

    Post # 40
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2020

    frenchtoastvegan :  just trying to be solution oriented, but what if you provided flip-flops for the ladies to wear while they stand? You can leave them in a cute basket at the enterance with a sign. I wouldn’t prefer to stand, but if I had to, I’d be eternally grateful for a pair of flip-flop to wear instead of my heels!

    Post # 42
    2069 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I attended one wedding ceremony where there were not enough seats for everyone.  I don’t think I paid much attention to the ceremony because by the time it started I had already been standing and waiting around for awhile.  Once the ceremony was over everyone was happy to move onto the reception where they had seats.  It doesn’t seem like there is much you can do other than start the ceremony on time and keep it short.  

    Post # 43
    13707 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’ll be honest, after about 5 minutes, all I’m going to be thinking about is how much I’d like a seat. I’m pregnant, but not showing, and it’s not public knowledge yet, so I’d be a little annoyed about having to stand, particularly if it was a day or time I wasn’t feeling well to begin with. 

    When I wasn’t pregnant, I attended a cermony where I had to stand.  There were taller people in front of me. I spent the whole ceremony awkwardly shuffling, not able to see the ceremony at all, and seriously wondering why I was invited. 

    Post # 44
    169 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’ve been to a couple of weddings where most guests were standing for the ceremony. As an able-bodied, non stiletto-wearing person I don’t mind physically standing for a short ceremony (up to 20 mins I think is reasonable), but I’m also not tall, so every time, standing has meant I saw virtually nothing of the ceremony. What’s your venue layout like in that sense?

    frenchtoastvegan :  

    Post # 44
    1478 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

    I had to stand in heels for a 90 minute cocktail hour at the last wedding I went to.  There wasn’t nearly enough seating for all the guests.  I would avoid this at all costs.  If you can’t make the chairs happen the. Keep your ceremony on time and very short.  We stood for my sisters wedding and it’s just a little annoying. 

    Post # 45
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I always get to a wedding at least 15 minutes early, so I would be standing for 15 minutes PLUS however long the ceremony is.

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