(Closed) Guest Vent…I knew this was going to happen! (LONG)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

ugh, I feel your pain.  long story short, it’s your wedding, and provided you don’t have unlimited space and money you have to draw the line somewhere!  I think you handled your guest list restrictions very reasonably.

We decided to give +1s to all our friends, regardless of if they’re in a relationship or not, because we’re not inviting a ton of friends and many of them don’t know the others.  My FI’s family is relatively small and he doesn’t have a ton of cousins, so we’re giving them +1s regardless as well.  I’m hoping people will have the relative decency to not just bring some random person, but the number of single ppl we’re giving +1s to who aren’t in relationships is really small, so oh well.  My family though is huge, and I have lots of cousins, and my personal feeling is if they’re not in a relationship they’ll have plenty of family there they know to hang out with, so tough.  And I’m standing my ground.  And if anyone doesn’t like it, too bad 😉  Not only would it be expensive for us, but we don’t have space for more people.  And I’ve seen some of the people my cousins randomly date…

Post # 4
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

+1 drama is very common. You just have to explain to people everything that you wrote here, and then don’t let them push you around. Say rude things like, “Listen, if you want to bring (so and so), you can pay me $150 beforehand and we’ll invite her. Otherwise, we invited who we invited.”

 

 

Post # 5
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

double post

 

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

They’ll get over it. We’re at the other extreme – we only gave out named +1s, to people in serious relationships. Of course, we aren’t inviting anyone who doesn’t know at least two or three other people there, in most cases many more. If we’d invited anyone who literally knew no one but us, we might have made an exception.

Post # 7
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

So sorry you have to deal with this drama. They are adults, they should be able to talk to you rationally.

We are also only extending +1s to people who are actually in relationships, but not all of them. I have a few cousins in relationships who we just can’t afford to give +1s to. We’ve never met their SOs and we have limited space so we’d rather invite family and friends than strangers.

When you start getting RSVPs back I’m sure you’ll get a few No’s and then you can extend more +1s. That’s our plan, anyway.

I hope things work out for you!

Post # 8
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Thats what happens when you dont give adults the courtesy of bringing a date.

Post # 9
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Bostongrl25:  Not everyone’s budget or venue allows for limitless +1s. This bride has already said she did them on a case by case basis as she saw appropriate. Instead of complaining so much, maybe more guests should realize they are adults and are perfectly capable of attending an event for one evening solo. I’m not going to give every family member who knows other people present a +1 just so some rando guest can party at my wedding. It’s ridiculous, and so is the argument that I should cut half of my loved ones and people closest to me from my guest list, just so the half that’s left gets to bring dates. 

Post # 10
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My only issue is not giving your Bridesmaid or Best Man a +1. I think everyone in the bridal party should be given a +1

Post # 12
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@CountryBee13:  I completely disagree. I would never expect an adult to come celebrate our love, and not give them the couresy of bringing a guest. If they choose to come solo thats their choice, but the invite should be extended in my opinion.

Post # 13
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ha ha i got alot of this and wen people asked i said be cause the line has to be drawn somewhere we cant afford every one and its our day so we are doing it our way.x

Post # 14
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My motto: “It’s my party, I do what I want!!!” 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Brideonabudgetlauren:  +1

It sucks that the +1 issue with your cousin wasn’t handled as well as it should have.  However, you should give your Future Sister-In-Law and sister +1s.  They are standing up for you on your big day and presumably helping with wedding stuffs.  I think the least you can do is allow them to bring a date.  When you make your budget and guest list, you need to factor these things in.

Post # 16
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

 

It’s upsetting people don’t take a moment to realize that you are paying the equivalent  of a lobster dinner at a decent place, drinks and a movie, PER PERSON.

 

Keep your head up hun, all of it will be over soon, it just comes with the moments of being a bride. The high of finding your perfect dress to the +1 debacle will in the end be worth it for all of us blushing brides. ( We all hope ) :p

 

 

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