(Closed) "& guest" when you're in a relationship?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
716 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t read too much into it.  Someone may have been helping with the addressing of the invites and maybe didn’t know.  These mix ups happen amid all the craziness of putting a wedding together

Post # 4
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

So true about someone helping.  A friend fogot to include my now husband; was just an oversight with someone helping address the invites, because at her shower, she said she hoped we both could come to the wedding (she had to send the invites late because she wanted to have her party at their new home, but they hadn’t closed at the time of her shower!).


Post # 6
3267 posts
Sugar bee

It is impolite to refer to someone as “+ Guest”.  But I think you should just let it go.  But definitely respond with the correct spelling of his name.

Post # 8
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow I am happy that I read this…I am going to be in the phase of picking out invitations and I was probably going to have my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor address them! It is easier to just put “and guest”, but it does make it more personal and friendly to put the SO’s name down. Just a minor oversight, but we have to remember that the “and guest” person is a real person with feelings too so why not acknowledge them by their name!

Post # 9
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DomesticDiva:  don’t read into it, even though it is poor etiquette she likely was doing it in a rush and didn’ve have time to double check his name with you.  We definitely did this on some invites and I was not happy to do it, but we needed to get our list in and didn’t have time to wait for replies.  Most were on FI’s side so I blame him for being annoyingly lazy about it! 

Post # 10
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It might have been a case of “bride brain” and she couldn’t remember how to spell his name or something, and opted to go with “& guest” rather than making a mistake? I would give her the benefit of the doubt, in any case.

Post # 11
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It would irk me as well. But I would let it slide. I recently learned that not everyone understands this kind of etiquette.

Post # 12
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I tried to include all of my guests’ guests’ full names for this exact reason. I got an “and guest” once when my husband and I were engaged and didn’t like it, so I tried not to do that to any of my guests whose SOs’ names I knew. 🙂

Post # 14
3230 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t read too much into it too. It’s just easier sometimes to do that. My fiancee’s invitation to his brother’s wedding came the same way even though we had been together for three years at that point. I didn’t think anything of it.

Post # 15
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah this happened to me at a wedding I was a bridesmaid in. My now-FI and I had been together for 3 years and living together for 1. She had let her mother address the invites, and her mom decided to put & guest for all of the bridesmaids even though our partner’s names were on the list. It was bizarre, but it didn’t mean anything. Our STD and thank you note were both addressed to us. 

Post # 16
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

While it is kind of irksome, I agree with everyone else, and say don’t let it get to you too much. It was probably a matter of rushing and not wanting to make a mistake on names of people they don’t know as well. 🙂


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