Post # 1
I have a coworker who originally RSVPed yes for the wedding, but then our relationship became a little bumpy after a work trip where I was getting annoyed with us working too close together for too long. Now she’s been has been pouting the last few weeks because we’re not best friends, just friendly coworkers, and I think she regrets her yes RSVP.
Her email to me:
“I know that our relationship hasn’t been ideal lately, and with your wedding coming up, I wanted to see if you still wanted me to come to wedding. It’s your wedding day and I do not want to cause any stress or negative feelings. I would be ok if you would like me to opt-out of your wedding day (no hard feelings on any side). I just wanted to allow you to have some time (in case you needed to alter food/settings details) to decide.”
I can’t uninvite her, but I also don’t want her to come and just pout the whole day, you know? Any advice on a reply?
Post # 3
I find her e-mail really strange. Why is she putting it on you to decide whether or not she goes to your wedding? If she’s uncomfortable, she should decline the invitiation to attend instead of putting pressure on you to decide for her.
Anywho, to answer your question, I would avoid “uninviting” someone that you’ve already sent an invitation to. So, my response would be something like “I appreciate your sentiments but of course the invitation to attend my wedding still stands. However, if you wouldn’t feel comfortable celebrating this day with me, I will accept your regrets with no hard feelings.”
Honestly, by sending that e-mail, it sounds like she’s fishing for drama. If you accept her offer to uninvite her, you become the bad guy.
Post # 4
Yeah I agree with the above poster, if you uninvite her she will probably cause drama, and its not like you don’t want her to come anyway right? I’d write back and say “It’s not like that, I’m sorry if anything I did made you feel like I didn’t want you to go. If I felt that way I would have talked to you about it, don’t worry! You are welcome to come as far as I’m concerned 🙂 It’s up to you.”
That way its back in her court 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks for the advice – I think you’re right, I’m going to punt this right back to her. It’s a no-win situation. Much appreciated!
Post # 7
Do you want to be friends with her again? It sounds like there was no big rift between you, just some tension from work. If you want to be friends, invite her to coffee and put it to rest, and then she can come to your wedding and have a great time. Win-win. 🙂
Post # 8
@Mrs.DBee: I agree with this.
Post # 9
Definitely put the ball back in her court. That’s what my Fiance and I had to do. Just tell her you’re sorry she feels that way and that if she doesn’t feel comfortable coming, then you understand and there are no hard feelings. 🙂