(Closed) Guest who probably doesn’t want to come now but doesn’t want to say it

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I find her e-mail really strange. Why is she putting it on you to decide whether or not she goes to your wedding? If she’s uncomfortable, she should decline the invitiation to attend instead of putting pressure on you to decide for her.

Anywho, to answer your question, I would avoid “uninviting” someone that you’ve already sent an invitation to. So, my response would be something like “I appreciate your sentiments but of course the invitation to attend my wedding still stands. However, if you wouldn’t feel comfortable celebrating this day with me, I will accept your regrets with no hard feelings.”

Honestly, by sending that e-mail, it sounds like she’s fishing for drama. If you accept her offer to uninvite her, you become the bad guy.

Post # 4
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah I agree with the above poster, if you uninvite her she will probably cause drama, and its not like you don’t want her to come anyway right? I’d write back and say “It’s not like that, I’m sorry if anything I did made you feel like I didn’t want you to go.  If I felt that way I would have talked to you about it, don’t worry!  You are welcome to come as far as I’m concerned ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s up to you.”


That way its back in her court ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Do you want to be friends with her again? It sounds like there was no big rift between you, just some tension from work. If you want to be friends, invite her to coffee and put it to rest, and then she can come to your wedding and have a great time. Win-win. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs.DBee:  I agree with this.

Post # 9
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Definitely put the ball back in her court.  That’s what my Fiance and I had to do.  Just tell her you’re sorry she feels that way and that if she doesn’t feel comfortable coming, then you understand and there are no hard feelings. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

The topic ‘Guest who probably doesn’t want to come now but doesn’t want to say it’ is closed to new replies.

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