Post # 1
We are paying for our destination wedding ourselves. When I say “Destination Wedding”, ours isn’t an airplane ride away, it’s a 4.5hr car drive away. The specifics of our wedding aren’t going to take a lot of time to plan, so we are essentially trying to feel people out to see if they would come to it, and then do our budget from there. We may have to wait until next June to have it if more than 30 people want to attend. PLUS, one of the reasons we are doing this is to save costs so I’m trying to keep the attendees down.
It’s hard guessing how many people would attend. At a minimum, the wedding would cost around $170 in travel and a hotel stay per couple. (For those who are staying a lower budget hotel). I just feel kind of awkward talking to my friends “So, say we were to have our wedding in Atlantic City. Would you come?” I feel like it’s kind of putting them on the spot. I don’t want to offend anyone who would come by not asking them either.
I know this post is all over the place…I’m kind of talking out loud right now 🙁 If anyone can comprehend this jargon I would appreciate some advice. How did you handle the guest list and budgeting for your DW?
Post # 3
It’s way too hard to ‘get a feel’ for people coming. Things change constantly… people either can or cannot attend at the last minute. Honestly, you’ll save yourself a headache if you make a budget first, then make a guest list or a firm number of people, and go from there.
If 30 people is your max based on your budget, then invite no more than 30.
Post # 4
I should also add that setting a firm budget and guest list ahead of time will help you out if/when some of the guests try to bring extra friends or family with them. It’s a lot easier to tell them you can’t afford any more or there’s no extra space when that’s the truth. If things aren’t firm beforehand, you might end up getting bullied into adding people you didn’t necessarily want there (or were not high on your priority list).
Post # 5
If you want to get married this year and can only afford 30 people, then do as the PP suggested and only invite 30 people. I don’t think you can risk inviting much more than that since your destination isn’t terribly far away. You could have people you didn’t expect to RSVP yes while having others who find out that Atlantic City can actually be pretty pricey to stay in and say no.
If having more people invited is important, then build your guest list, figure our your budget based on it, and save until you can afford it.
If you ask a close friend about the likelihood of attending now, they say yes, and then you find out they can’t make it, you may be more inclined to be upset because you put out these feelers to folks. You may “know” that they aren’t RSVPs to formal invitations, but you’ll probably be pretty annoyed regardless if they thought they could make it and then took up one or two of your invitation list spots.
Post # 6
There’s always the option of having a “B” list, so as declines come in you can invite others.
Post # 7
I think because it’s kind of close and not as expensive as a lot of other dw weddings it might be an easy weekend trip for people to plan. I think it’s fine, my friend who did a dw also put feelers out to see if most important family members would be able to swing it and save up for the trip, and of course things could change and people could back out. But I think in your case since it’s closer then a typical destiantion wedding a lot of people would be able to make it.
Post # 8
We invited only close close family members and friends. You have to make your guest list and stick to it. My family attempted numerousss times to get me to invite more family and friends and I stuck to my list. It was easier for me to stick to my guns because I wanted a small intimate wedding and wanted to keep cost down while having my dream wedding.
And there will be quite a few people that say they are coming and wont be able too. But bottom line is make a guest list and stick to it, and dont talk about the wedding to people that are not invited, because you will get sucked into inviting them.
Post # 9
Thanks for the feedback. One of the reasons that we decided to do this to save costs which we deem unnecessary for us at this stage in our lives but also have a personal celebration. I feel like if I send out too many “feelers” more people would be willing to come than I thought and we’d end up spending more than we would like to.
So, I think I’m going to make the guest list based upon who we WANT to come…not who we think would come, and stick to it. If some of the people can’t make it, oh well! More money for the honeymoon!
Post # 10
@TwoCityBride: LOL a lot of people are digging the idea of the weekend trip already so that’s why I started getting nervous. I was like “OMG! I’m gonna end up paying almost the same amount as a traditional wedding!”