Post # 1
Question is pretty clear from the header, a few people have already declined coming, including a flower girl and bridesmaid. Do I still have to send them an invitation? Feels kind of like a waste of paper and money. Is this a huge No-no?
Thank you for your help, hive!
Post # 3
I have no idea if it’s a huge no-no, but I’ve had the same thing happen and I’ll not send an invitation to those who have said they can’t make it. Partly because it feels like a waste, but also because I don’t want to come across as nagging on them/being passive aggressive.
Post # 4
You should send them invitations. Right now something is preventing them from attending, but plans could change, things get cancelled, etc and they could end up being able to attend.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn
@Loveylove13: I would still send them an invite. My parents’ best friends have already said that they can’t make it because they have a family wedding that day but I want them to know that they are still welcome if plans change closer to the date.
Post # 6
I recently received 2 save the dates that I couldn’t attend. I made sure I let them know early as I didn’t want them to bother sending an invite to me. It seems silly to me to send one when they know your not coming!
Post # 7
I’m not sending invites to some that have made it clear they can’t come. I dont know if there is an etiquette rule about it (frankly, I dont care for all the old head etiquette snobs lurking) but I won’t waste the time or postage and I dont want to annoy people.
Post # 8
I think etiquette says send the invite, but I agree with a PP with feeling like people will think I’m being passive agressive/silly to send an invite. Maybe its an etiquette thing that doens’t translate well in real life? Can you include a note with the invite that says “I know you’ve said you can’t come- we’ll miss you! But wanted to have an invite anyway, just so you know we’re thinking of you”…or something…somehow…without it sounding MORE pushy?
Post # 9
@Loveylove13: I would send an invitation anyway, though I suppose it does depend on your relationship with the people in question. For example, one of my good friends has already told me she’s unsure if she’ll be able to come because she’s starting medical school in the fall (far from where we live now). I told her she’d be receiving a Save the Date and invitation anyway because I want her to feel included (and also so she can definitely let us know if anything changes and she’s able to come).
Post # 10
If I was a guest, I wouldn’t expect an invite if I declined after an STD. What’s the point? I would just send them an email or something and tell them to notify you if plans change.
Post # 11
We had one couple decline after the StD and we didn’t send them an invite; it just seemed weird to me to do so. I felt like in their place, I might have opened it and thought, “Did you not understand the message?”
Post # 12
@Loveylove13: That happened to us because its a Destination Wedding. But I still sent them one. It still gives them the option to come if things change for them, plus, they might like to still get one. I know its a waste of money, but I did it.
Post # 13
It would depend on the relationship of the person who delcined for me.
What I might do, is add a little hand written note with the invite to the few that declined and acknowledge that you’re aware they already declined but should plans change they are more then welcome to join you.