Post # 1
I’m very new at this and have no idea what I’m doing, haha. I was wondering – do you need to give every guest the option of bring a plus one? For spouses that goes without question, but what about people who might be single, or people that are dating?
I have some friends who I know their boyfriend/girlfriend really well and would like to invite them, but I also have some friends who are single, or are dating someone that I’ve never met.
I really don’t want to offend anyone and would like to know the etiquette on this. The only issue is, we have tons of close friends and family that already bump the guest list to 100+. Adding a plus one would have it close to, or over 200. However, I want to do this the appropriate way.
Post # 3
You don’t need to.
I am giving all of my guests a +1. There are quite a few who might have girlfriends or boyfriends my SO and I do not know of (A lot of these are friends back home who we don’t keep in touch with their personal lives) so, we’re offering a +1 to everyone.
You can, however, pick and choose if you want to.
Post # 4
Its considered proper ettiquette to allow your guests to bring their SO if you are aware that they have one, but no, you don’t have to offer +1s to every single guest.
You might want to at least extend the offer to members of the wedding party. They’re going the extra mile for you and your Fiance on the day, its only fair that they be allowed to bring a date. Just my opinion, though, its not breaking ettiquette if you don’t.
ETA: And, at the very least for your extended family you don’t see often, check facebook or parents or whatever to see if they’re in a relationship, just to make sure. One of my cousins got married a few weeks ago and didn’t invite my Fiance. I am still a little miffed about that.
Post # 5
We are pretty much giving a +1 to every one except the people who we know are not in a relationship. My sister will not be getting a +1, neither will my grandmother or my aunt.
Post # 6
You don’t need to, but if don’t give people a +1, you need to make a “rule” and apply it to everyone equally. Like “+1 for everyone married, engaged, living together, or dating for 2+ years (and wedding party).” That’ll make it easier to defend.
I just gave everyone a +1, made it easier and I got to meet some cool new people. And go figure – my male cousin just dumped his girlfriend whom he’d been dating for, like, 4 years. I liked her. My female cousin brought her flavor of the month (ok, it had been a few months, but she had a history), and they just moved in together and are actually serious!
Disclaimer, though, our guest list was super small, +1’s added up to, like, 5 people (3 showed up, 2 came alone).
Post # 7
no, you are in no way required to do that. i would give special consideration to couples you know have been together a long time, but other than that i’d seat my “singles” near eachother and see if any sparks fly 😉
Post # 8
You don’t have to, but we chose to. There were about 45 or 50 and guests we extended (where we didn’t have an SO name). Most of them aren’t taking us up on it, but a few are.
Post # 9
It’s a very nice thing to do for singles (because it sucks going to a wedding alone), and you must invite couples together whether you know both people or not.
Post # 10
Etiquette requires only that you invite the significant others of guests who are married, engaged or living together (because etiquette presumes they are secretly married.)
Post # 11
Awesome, thanks so much ladies! Yes I would agree going to a wedding single sucks. I will probably extend a plus one. Thanks for all your help!
Post # 12
You don’t need to but it is nice. You can keep it to the “I have to know you” plus ones or the long-term, monogamous relationship plus ones or the engaged plus ones. We offered plus ones to nearly everyone on our list that we knew had a semi-steady significant other (as in, they aren’t just bringing a friend because we offered a spot) as well as to a few people who otherwise wouldn’t know anyone.
Post # 13
If I had a good friend who was dating someone exclusively I might address the invitation to them both instead of giving them a plus one. My boyfriend and I get invites addressed to the both of us all the time. I would probably give a plus one to everyone because I wouldn’t want to go to a wedding without my boyfriend. My boyfriend is practically family and we once got an invite addressed to “The X Family”, which we knew meant my mom, me, my brother +wife, but were not sure if it included my boyfriend or not since everyone considers him family. Anyways, we asked and they said of course they wanted him there, but you should make sure it is really clear who gets to bring who.
Post # 14
We’re only giving +1s to friends in relationships (so married, engaged, living together, or together more than a few months.) We’d go way over budget if we didn’t, and I’d be wary of some of the guests our friends would bring lol.
Post # 15
Funny, I just sent out an email to people asking for their addresses. The first response back I got was from my cousin asking if I was giving plus ones. We are only giving plus ones to spouces/live-in couples. We’re trying to keep our wedding to about 100 people because of space and budget. She was pretty understanding about it, mentioned that a lot more weddings now aren’t giving them.
Post # 16
For us, the only people getting +1s are people in serious, committed relationships. We don’t want to buy dinner for someone a cousin picked up in a bar to bring a date – as harsh as that probably sounds. Our wedding will be pretty intimate, and we’d rather not have strangers there. As well, our venue has limited space, so we can’t just let everyone bring a “date.” A boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance(e), husband/wife, yes, but “date” no.