(Closed) Guests and a Plus One

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You don’t need to.

I am giving all of my guests a +1. There are quite a few who might have girlfriends or boyfriends my SO and I do not know of (A lot of these are friends back home who we don’t keep in touch with their personal lives) so, we’re offering a +1 to everyone.

You can, however, pick and choose if you want to.

Post # 4
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Its considered proper ettiquette to allow your guests to bring their SO if you are aware that they have one, but no, you don’t have to offer +1s to every single guest.

You might want to at least extend the offer to members of the wedding party.  They’re going the extra mile for you and your Fiance on the day, its only fair that they be allowed to bring a date.  Just my opinion, though, its not breaking ettiquette if you don’t.

ETA: And, at the very least for your extended family you don’t see often, check facebook or parents or whatever to see if they’re in a relationship, just to make sure.  One of my cousins got married a few weeks ago and didn’t invite my Fiance.  I am still a little miffed about that.

Post # 5
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We are pretty much giving a +1 to every one except the people who we know are not in a relationship. My sister will not be getting a +1, neither will my grandmother or my aunt.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You don’t need to, but if don’t give people a +1, you need to make a “rule” and apply it to everyone equally.  Like “+1 for everyone married, engaged, living together, or dating for 2+ years (and wedding party).”  That’ll make it easier to defend.

I just gave everyone a +1, made it easier and I got to meet some cool new people.  And go figure – my male cousin just dumped his girlfriend whom he’d been dating for, like, 4 years.  I liked her.  My female cousin brought her flavor of the month (ok, it had been a few months, but she had a history), and they just moved in together and are actually serious! 

Disclaimer, though, our guest list was super small, +1’s added up to, like, 5 people (3 showed up, 2 came alone). 

Post # 7
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

no, you are in no way required to do that.  i would give special consideration to couples you know have been together a long time, but other than that i’d seat my “singles” near eachother and see if any sparks fly 😉

Post # 8
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You don’t have to, but we chose to. There were about 45 or 50 and guests we extended (where we didn’t have an SO name). Most of them aren’t taking us up on it, but a few are.

Post # 9
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s a very nice thing to do for singles (because it sucks going to a wedding alone), and you must invite couples together whether you know both people or not.

Post # 10
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Etiquette requires only that you invite the significant others of guests who are married, engaged or living together (because etiquette presumes they are secretly married.) 

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You don’t need to but it is nice. You can keep it to the “I have to know you” plus ones or the long-term, monogamous relationship plus ones or the engaged plus ones. We offered plus ones to nearly everyone on our list that we knew had a semi-steady significant other (as in, they aren’t just bringing a friend because we offered a spot) as well as to a few people who otherwise wouldn’t know anyone.

Post # 13
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If I had a good friend who was dating someone exclusively I might address the invitation to them both instead of giving them a plus one. My boyfriend and I get invites addressed to the both of us all the time. I would probably give a plus one to everyone because I wouldn’t want to go to a wedding without my boyfriend. My boyfriend is practically family and we once got an invite addressed to “The X Family”, which we knew meant my mom, me, my brother +wife, but were not sure if it included my boyfriend or not since everyone considers him family. Anyways, we asked and they said of course they wanted him there, but you should make sure it is really clear who gets to bring who.

Post # 14
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We’re only giving +1s to friends in relationships (so married, engaged, living together, or together more than a few months.) We’d go way over budget if we didn’t, and I’d be wary of some of the guests our friends would bring lol. 

Post # 15
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Funny, I just sent out an email to people asking for their addresses. The first response back I got was from my cousin asking if I was giving plus ones. We are only giving plus ones to spouces/live-in couples. We’re trying to keep our wedding to about 100 people because of space and budget. She was pretty understanding about it, mentioned that a lot more weddings now aren’t giving them.

Post # 16
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

For us, the only people getting +1s are people in serious, committed relationships. We don’t want to buy dinner for someone a cousin picked up in a bar to bring a date – as harsh as that probably sounds. Our wedding will be pretty intimate, and we’d rather not have strangers there. As well, our venue has limited space, so we can’t just let everyone bring a “date.” A boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance(e), husband/wife, yes, but “date” no.

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