- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I listen to a radio station in the mornings that does “therapy thursday”. People write in with a question that the host poses to the listeners, who then call in with answers or suggestions to the quandries.
Today, (I didn’t hear the original whole letter, but this is what I gathered) a bride to be wrote in with something along the lines of, “I have been a guest at several friends weddings recently, and their guests dressed appallingly! So many jeans and t-shirts or inappropriate dresses meant for the club. I am so worried of this happening at my wedding, and I can’t believe people don’t know how to dress. Can I word my invitations to say “Formal attire or don’t come”?
Ok, to me stating it like THAT is a big fat NO. You can’t be so defensive with your own guests right off the bat! Give them a chance to dress the right way! Spread it by word of mouth as well! However, it is perfectly acceptable to put “semi-formal” or “cocktail style” or “black tie optional”, etc on the invites, right? I mean, as a guest I would be SO put off by her wording. It would make me think that she cares TOO much about appearances and not about her guests, but as a guest of course I want to know the overall dress code. Big difference between “semi-formal” and “black tie”.
However, the SHITSTORM of calls that came in really threw me off. People were very divided, and granted it could have been for the “drama” sake of the show, but everyone seemed very one or the other! I was kind of shocked by the number of people calling in and saying “Heck yes put that on there! It’s your party, do what you want!”
But more than that what shocked me was the sheer number of people who said “How dare you tell me how to dress? I will wear whatever I want to your wedding, you have no right to tell me what to wear!!!”
Ok, that blew my mind. Do people really honestly and truly not know how to be guests anymore?!?! Um, FYI, yes the bride DOES have a right to “suggest” gently what code is appropriate. She is the host, it is their event that they are paying for, and while they are to think of their guests comfort level, guests have the responsibility to show up and act and dress appropriately! I could not believe the number of poeple calling in and feeling entitled to do whatever they wanted at someone ELSE’s event. Shocked I tell you, shocked.