(Closed) Guests are RUDE.

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I can totally see guests asking about the price of hotels. A lot of people are on a budget! My grandparents will not pay more than about $75 for a hotel room because of their fixed income. On the other hand, we have friends and family who will drop $300 on a night in Atlantic City. We made sure to include a wide range on our website because different guests expect different price ranges and different levels of luxury. Some will want cheap and basic, others may want to splurge.

ETA: totally rude to write in extra guests though

Post # 4
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

FutureMrsT1221:  Aside from the written in plus ones (unless of course you neglected to invite their SO in which case that was you being rude) none of those things are rude. 

If you didn’t want to answer questions from guests then why did you invite them.

I find bride’s that consider their guests an inconvienance to be rude honestly. 

Post # 5
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The only thing in here that I consider rude is writing in guests. 


My entire family and my husband family came for a week surrounding our wedding. I had never met many of them and our families had never met. We spent every waking second with them before and after the wedding, including the next morning for brunch. Sure it was a bit much but I didn’t consider it rude… After all, they came from the four corners of the earth to attend, why would they not want to hang out with us and their new extended family?

Post # 6
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

FutureMrsT1221:  is she good with technology? My grandma didn’t realize there even was a website-she thought it was an ad for the knot. Less savvy guests will have trouble just googling and not asking questions.

Post # 7
7271 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Only the first one sounds rude to me…

ETA: and the guests who added dates might not have been trying to be rude. They might just have no idea of the etiquette of invites.

I get venting about this stuff but in the grand scheme of things, most of this stuff isn’t a big deal. They’re not making the day about them or saying your wedding is an inconvenience. It sounds like you are just stressed and taking things the wrong way.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  .
Post # 9
1244 posts
Bumble bee

I get the OP’s frustration. I had a guest ask me about the location of a hotel, that’s not in either of my blocks, and how much that hotel would be, etc. I worked with them, but I couldn’t help but wonder the entire time why they didn’t just google the info. I was COMPLETELY on my own for their wedding, which was in an out-of-the-way area. They couldn’t look up the location of a major chain hotel in a huge metropolitan city? :::side eye:::  But, hey, I want to see them at my wedding so I helped them out. But yeah, OP, I get it. 🙂

Post # 10
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Agreed– the first one is definitely rude. The others could be handled better by the guests, but aren’t rude so much as vaguely thoughtless. For example, realizing they will need to rent a car and saying it out loud is something I’d do. They don’t mean it as a criticism; it’s just a realization.

And it sounds like your aunt is just LIKE that. People say dumb stuff all the time. My advice is to stop getting annoyed and kill them with graciousness. That usually shuts people down.

And wanting to come early to hang out is not rude; again, just thoughtless and enthusiastic. 

Post # 11
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

The nerve of some people–wanting to hang out with you and asking such silly questions like how they’re going to traverse seventeen miles between the ceremony and reception! Total asshats. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 12
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Is the reception close to hotels? I would be fine with driving to the reception from the ceremony, but I’d grumble if I couldn’t take advantage of the open bar because I’d have to drive afterwards. 

My ceremony and reception (same location) is a bit inconvenient to any hotel (None within walking distance) so I’ll be providing a shuttle for guests at the end of the night back to an area with hotels/bars.

Post # 13
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

Erm, I may be in the wrong, but I don’t think that some of the things you’ve identified are terribly “rude” and personally, I think you’re overreacting to most of them. 


1. Adding uninvited guests = yes, definitely in the wrong. You should discuss that with them ASAP because it’s unfair of them to burden you with additional mouths to feed – especially if it was communicated in the invitation that it was only extended to the person/family/couple. 

2. Maybe not the most tactful way to ask, but that’s a very fair question. My great-grandbig from my sorority is getting married in December and the hotel she blocked rooms at is still going to cost her guests $200.00/night. Your aunt may have financial concerns or be unwilling to spend a ton on lodging after coming in from out of town. She may be trying to decide whether or not to stay in your block or find something else. 

3. Not trying to be a snark monster but I hope the hotels your guests get are close enough to the reception to get taxis and not rental cars if there’s going to be all you can drink alcohol! In your defense, it isn’t fair of them to vocally whine about your reception/ceremony locations but quite frankly… I might be a bit annoyed by the distance. If my hotel was near your ceremony and I planned on drinking at your reception, I’d be worried about how to get home or that I had to be monitoring how much I was drinking during the evening. 

4. Here’s where I think you’re really in the wrong in how you’re looking at things… Your guests are coming from out of town at their own expense to celebrate you and your future husband. That’s really kind and something you should be enormously grateful for. Of all the weddings that I’ve gone to, I’ve talked to the bride and groom for maybe 5-10 minutes. Chances are that your guests won’t really get to be entertained by you at all on the day of. I doubt they expect you to take them around town but you could take an hour out of your day to eat dinner with them. You have to eat anyway, why not give back to the people who are coming to make your day special?  

Post # 15
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

FutureMrsT1221:  I agree on the passive aggressive comments and why can’t people look up the info themselves about the hotels? I understand maybe asking you what hotels are near by, but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt to do a little research themselves. All the info is on your invite. With some grandparents, they might need a little help with the technology though. Lol. It is annoying when guest act like it’s an inconvenient to them to attend a wedding and voice what they have to do like they are annoyed by it. It’s a simple yes, I’ll love to go without any of the complaints or a simple no. 

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