(Closed) Guests are RUDE.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

FutureMrsT1221: are you not providing a shuttle between the ceremony and reception and hotel? Traveling to  an unfamiliar location and then driving just has the potential to be a hot mess. 

I’ve missed ceremonies and reception entrances because I was driving around an unfamiliar place, getting lost, rerouted, etc. 

didn’t complain to the bride but also got out of there ASAP so I wouldn’t have to drive around in the dark.

just something to think about. 

Post # 48
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I had a lot of guests rsvp and then toss the invite and have to ask when and where the wedding was (we also had a website that apparently no one used even though the link was given AND a qr code on the envelopes for smart phone scanners). 

I had Out of Town guests arriving on Tuesday and we didn’t see them until Friday night for our Saturday wedding because we didn’t even get to town until Friday! (It was held by older relatives so they wouldnt need to travel but far from us) No one wanted to see us per se but other relatives they haven’t seen in a long time and the city that was new to a lot of them, so don’t stress about their plans and if they ask just let them know honestly what your availability is and give suggestions for activities in the area. 

Post # 49
Member
5219 posts
Bee Keeper

FutureMrsT1221:  We did that dinner on Thursday where everyone pitched in, of course the Rehearsal Dinner on Friday and the wedding on Saturday and then the day after we did a quick little brunch with an open invitation to anyone who wanted to eat out with us before our flight, but we didn’t pay for anyone or make it a formal “wedding event”.

I also stayed in the hotel where our guest were staying, even though I live in the area we were married. It made it easier to interact with the out of town people and since Darling Husband and I didn’t want to spend the night together the night before, he stayed at our place while I stayed in a suite ( they also gave me a good discount for being the bride and blocking rooms)

Post # 50
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Writing in extra guests is rude, other than that none of this is rude. At all.

Maybe you could put something on your wedding website that helps your guests know how you would like questions to be asked.. It appears as though you were asked a question, didn’t like how it was worded.. So you called it rude.

Post # 51
Member
3669 posts
Sugar bee

FutureMrsT1221:  As a former Office Assistant who had to deal with constant idiotic questions from employees who refused to think for themselves…this is life…it has nothing to do with your wedding! People get confused/lost/unsure and they do the easiest thing they can think of, ask the host. It happened to me every day at my former job. Everyone does it. I bet you even do it at work or in some other form. It’s just life, and believe me I know its frustrating and seems nonsensical when you know you put that information out there, but you really can’t be surprised by it. Weddings are confusing for the guests when they’re in an unfamiliar area. If I was coming from out of town, I would wonder if a shuttle was being provided from the ceremony to the reception, and I would also have questions about hotels and stuff. Me being me, I would certainly first look at the website and invitation, but if something wasn’t on there (like the shuttle), I would ask. I guess my point is, this really isn’t surprising or unique, but I totally get why its like “UGH” at a stressful time. Try not to hold it against them.

Post # 52
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Do you have everyones or a good number of everyones email address? If so you could resend the website address to everyone and simply state that if you have questions you can find all your answers here at [email protected] 

As for the 17 mile commute I would probably think how inconvenient it is, but I wouldn’t ever say that to the bride or groom…my sister and her husband had some distance inbetween venues because they wanted to have it in their church as well and within my extended family we all heard about the inconvenience, but we figured it out, some carpooled or drove on their own or didn’t come to the ceromony, but came to the reception…and that will have to be something you are ok with. They will figure it out, don’t let it bother you.

Being a bride 2years ago I thought I was going to be super busy the week of while family was arriving, but you know what? I wasn’t super busy and I really enjoyed the time I spent with my family. Like another poster suggested make yourself available for an evening and have a potluck. You don’t have to “host” but just make yourself available to those important people that have come from all over to have some small conversation with you. Trust me, on the day of your wedding you won’t have time to visit with everyone, especially 220ppl, but everyone wants to have a special moment with you, including your husband. The day goes by at lightning speed. Make the time. 🙂 

Post # 53
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Maybe you can call ahead to some cab companies and have some ready after the wedding. Unless your venue is near a bar or hotel, I’d be worried my guests who drank would just be standing around. You can even have a sign up or some cards at the bar with cab company phone #s. 

Post # 54
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

FutureMrsT1221: funny. We really don’t have the budget to get married in San Francisco (where we live) so instead are getting married & reception at one venue north of the city to avoid the shuttle between venues issue. 

Keep doing you. 

Post # 56
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

FutureMrsT1221:  This is the problem with venting on a public forum. If I posted every rant that I tell my Fiance that’s related to dealing with people for work and wedding stuff, I’d be seen as such an ungrateful, mean biatch. There’s nothing you can do at this point but try to be nice and answer all your guests’ questions and not let them bother you. I’m assuming that your hotel doesn’t provide a free shuttle service to and from the venue? (mine does, thankfully) From what I recall with speaking to hotels, they usually have their own resources for group shuttles and taxis in the area. Maybe you can ask them to give that info to your guests when they check in. It’s not that hard for guests who know each other to arrange to take a shuttle or taxi together to save money.

Post # 58
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

FutureMrsT1221: Yeah. Like you’re having your wedding in the suburbs because that is what makes sense for you.

I live in a city with a lot of event venues but am having my wedding in the suburbs as well because that’s what makes sense for me. 

Funny because it’s unexpected. 

Post # 59
Member
13590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, the only thing that comes across rude to me is the adding extra guests.  The rest of it…it seems like you’re looking for something to get upset about.

I had most of my Out of Town guests arrvive 3-4 days before the wedding.  Guess what, they paid a lot of money to come celebrate my wedding, and the absolute least I could do was arrange two hours to have dinner with them.  No one demanded my time – they asked if I had a bit of free time to hang out.  I was thrilled, because it meant they were enjoying their trip, spent their money well, and would feel appreciated.

You may want to realize that people are spending a lot of money to come to your wedding, and while it is your day, you need to be a little bit more patient and understanding.

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