(Closed) Guests arguing about bringing babies …

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 106
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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zzar45 :  I have been trying to get my 8 month old to get a job, but she is a complete potato baby and continues to be a little freeloader. (FWIW though she would be a very well behaved wedding guest, probably better than my husband) 

Post # 107
Member
4964 posts
Honey bee

I have a feeling this thread will be closed real soon.

Post # 108
Member
5170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

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carolinabelle :  what a mooch! I bet all she does is cry and make you cater to her every whim as well, talk about entitled. 

Post # 109
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Call me crazy but if my sister told me that my future Brother-In-Law didn’t want my baby at their wedding, so I had to have my husband and baby stay in a hotel room and I could attend alone, I’d be very sad. I love my sister, and would very much want to celebrate with her, but it would probably cause some long-term damage because I certainly wouldn’t attend. It also wouldn’t ingratiate my Brother-In-Law to our parents/siblings. That’s the big issue. Brother-In-Law probably doesn’t want to drive 6 hours with a baby only to fly solo at a wedding. He could save the time and money and hang out with his wife and kid, which he assuredly prefers to do (which, spoiler alert, is why he’s upset…most people like to celebrate family milestones with their family).

 

It’s okay to want a child free wedding (as I said, I personally love attending them). It’s not okay to be irritated that your family is upset by the exclusion. If this is a hill worth dying on to you, you have to be prepared to accept the (totally justified) irritation from the family. It comes with the territory. 

Post # 110
Member
843 posts
Busy bee

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penny1403 :  

” I stated that it’s possible she could not attend the wedding so she can stay with the baby, and he could attend the wedding.”

And you see this as hospitable?? Who is she, Cinderella?  Again, all of this is your decision but please don’t act as if you’re doing anyone any favors.  You are not.  Please own that. 

Post # 111
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Your latest update makes it so much worse. The initial post was not that bad but every update gets worse and worse! Who would want to pack up their 7 month old baby and ALL that comes with it (portable crib, diapers, clothes, bottles, etc) and drive 6 HOURS only to be excluded from the event and sit in some strangers house for 3 hours? And you’re expecting them to kiss your a$$ and be grateful that you gave them this wonderful opportunity to sit at your house while her husband has fun? 

It sounds like you already made your decision and only came here to justify it. And we actually all mostly agree with you that if you want a child free wedding, you can have one. But you may burn bridges and cause major family turmoil, and you need to be comfortable with the consequences. To me, ruining a relationship with your future brother in law is not worth it. You will look back on your wedding in 5, 10, 20 years… and always have the thought that he was not there because you didn’t want to hear a baby cry.

Also, I know plenty of adults who drink and/or are just more out there that I would be more worried about making noise, breaking things, or causing a scene than a 7 month old baby. 

Post # 112
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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carolinabelle :  But is she an alcoholic who frequently smashes up restaurants? That’s the real question. 

Post # 113
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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slomotion :  I’ve never met an infant who WASN’T an alcoholic who frequently smashed up restaurants. That’s why the venue is so inappropriate for a baby. It’s not like they’re small, immobile and easily contained by their parents.

 

Post # 114
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Something similar happened to me in January for a wedding my family attended. This was a wedding for my first cousin. My husband, 9 month old and I flew 6 hours across the country to attend and took 2 days off of work.  The bride didn’t care if my baby came and made sure to let me know. Her sister, however, booked a teenage babysitter for her child and mine. I never got the opportunity to meet this girl, so I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my baby with her. I think most new parents would feel that way. Unfortunately that cousin (not the bride) had a lot to say about this. I need to let go more. I need to relax. I need to spend less time with my baby. My eyes rolled so hard to the back of my head. But at the end of the day, my baby sat in a high chair and ate pasta and didn’t say anything.  No one knew he was there unless they were sitting at our table.

 

You have the right to have a child free wedding. They have the right to decline the invitation. However, you will be known as something not very nice moving forward in your NEW family. You will hurt your husband and BILs relationship and you will absolutely do irreparable damage to your relationship with your Brother-In-Law, SIL and Mother-In-Law.

 

Bottom line, your attitude sucks.

Post # 115
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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unfettering :  This whole thing would be much easier if babies could be held by someone. One day science will find a way!

Post # 116
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2021

First of all, this is your wedding.  You can and should do whatever you don’t or do want.  You are paying for it, you have planned it and you have the right to have a “kid’-free” wedding.  I am specifically putting “adults-only invited” on my invites for the same reason.  Family or no family, no one is going to “guilt” me into having kids at my recepction.  You shouldn’t have to pay for any babysitters for other folks’ kids.  They should get their own baby sitters.  It’s not your job to take care of their issues when they can leave their kids with a reliable family member or babysitter.  Frankly, at this point, the only thing I can see is that you get cards printed and mail them out.  My sistr did that for her wedding last year and sent a note along with the invites.  Print something like this:    “As this is an adult-only invited ceremony and reception, as much as we love all our “little ones” we are requesting that you do not bring them for reasons of safety in a non-baby proofed space.  We want all adults to enjoy themselves without distraction.  Anyone who has an issue with this, we are sorry but understand that you will not be able to attend.”  Refrain from arguing about the point, do not respond to threats, phone calls, texts, etc.  Ignore them.  If they bring their children, hire a entry guard who will tell them they are not allowed into the space with children.  They will only have a choice to go and get a baby sitter or drop them off at a designated place that you have pre-arrange–hough, I hate the fact of you paying for that.  Good luck and Godspeed.

Post # 117
Hostess
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

This thread has run it’s course. Closing 

The topic ‘Guests arguing about bringing babies …’ is closed to new replies.

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