(Closed) Guests asked to wear a certain color?

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think it’s generally considered rude to tell guests what to wear. I wouldn’t. 

Post # 4
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Um, no. My guests are adults. Not children I need to tell what to wear. And not props that I am inviting to complement my floral arrangements.

I had a bride “request” that we all wear yellow to her wedding once. I wore blue, because I don’t own yellow and dislike being told what to do.


Post # 5
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@BlushingBride3814:  Absolutely not! A bride can choose her color scheme for decor but guests are not decor. 

Post # 7
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013


Is this a thing now? 

I had TWO guests ask about the dress code for my wedding. The first guest  told me that at a recent wedding she attended all guests were instructed to wear blue or purple, Guest 2 wanted to know the level of formality. Honestly, the level of formality is closer to Black Tie, but I am not goint to tell my guests what they have to wear! Im not paying for  their clothing! So I’ve adopted responding by telling them what my brother considered wearing. First he said a pink linen suit (brook brother’s new Great Gatsby Line), halloween costume, a white tux, and a blue velvet jacket. Of these four, the only one I had a problem with was the white tux. I’m the Bride. Outside of that, wear whatever you want! And I mean it! I told the second guest who asked this and he asked if he could wear mariachi pants and a large buckle (Im Mexican, he’s not) I told him to go for it and said if his wife wanted she could borrow my large mexican belt buckle and sent a picture! He was totally joking and doesnt even own one but loved that I was cool with whatever and the fact that I turned his threat around!  

Post # 8
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

i hate it when people say that it’s rude to “dictate guest’s wear”. it’s called a theme, people. i was invited to an all-white wedding but i couldn’t attend because it was in ibiza (couple lives in europe) and i was broke. the pictures looked amazing and i would have been super happy to wear white.

Post # 9
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here … lol

Ya it does seem to be “a thing” now.  AKA – the Theme Wedding trend.

From a Traditional Etiquette POV, for a Wedding it is considered RUDE to be too blatent about a Dress Code.  In one assumes that people are “supposed to know” how to dress for a Wedding / Church ***

(Why only the words BLACK TIE are usually permissible from an Etiqutette POV on an Invite.  In so much as a Black Tie affair had traditionally strict rules of Protocol vs Non Black Tie events)

— — —

However, when it comes to organizing other types of events / parties .. and setting a Dress Code is not considered Rude…

So ok for Birthday Parties – Mardi Gras Parties – St Patrick’s Day – Backyard BBQs – and even Anniversary / Vow Renewals / Post Wedding Celebrations

Even… nowadays Funerals ** when done with some sense of purpose

** In memory of Bob, feel free to wear something Blue which was his favourite colour

— — —

But no matter what the Occasion or Party… a Dress Code should always be nothing more than a suggestion.

Infact if one is going to go the route of a “theme” for ANY PARTY then the preferred wording IS ALWAYS…

“Feel Free to wear something ___”

Versus a command / order to do so.

— — —

All that said,

*** If a Bride does feel she needs to inform her Guests that there is an expected Dress Code… then the best place to do that outside of Black Tie is on one’s Wedding Website.  But then one must use a lot of tact… so it doesn’t come across as a Command / Order / Condesending… Particulary so if you are doing it because your fears are that people don’t know how to dress properly for an occasion such as a Wedding.

Hope this helps,


Post # 10
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree that I would never feel comfortable making my guests wear a certain color to my wedding.  I understand the theme trend, which can be a lot of fun, but I know that I would not appreciate having to go out of my way to buy a certain outfit for a wedding.  I also dont like being told what to do..

Post # 11
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t know that I would ever be comfortable requesting it as a bride, but as a guest, I wouldn’t mind. Especially if it’s a color most people have in their closet already, like black, blue, or red.

Post # 12
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I haven’t done this for my wedding and for the most part I do try to adhere to etiquette. but I wouldn’t have a problem with this, I think a theme which incorporates a guests’ attire could be fun. Dress up medieval for a medieval themed wedding, dress up like a wizard for a Harry Potter themed wedding, wear white to an all-white wedding… If I’m close to the bride and groom I will want to support them and have a good time, not complain about their audacity in telling me what to wear. It’s not like they’ve barged into my home and picked an outfit from my closet.

Post # 13
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I saw on an episode of Four Weddings, that a bride choose to wear a red dress, and asked all her guests to wear black and white.  I think that is a cool idea for those wearing a non Ivory/ White/ Blush dress.  And white and black isn’t too hard (most girls have a black dress in their closet).  I’m not doing this, but it looked cool with the bride in a bright color amongst a black and white crowd

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