(Closed) Guests asking to bring children?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

MissMarigold. I think you’re on the right track–the most important thing to do is not make exceptions if there are other families who have been told not to bring their kids.  If I were you, I’d use the pond as a scapegoat.  "I’m so delighted that you and [other adult] are coming out for the wedding!  Unfortunately, my parent’s farm has a large lake and when we talked to them about the wedding, everyone agreed that the lake is too big of a hazard (and far too attractive) for kids at the wedding. [The other couple] are also planning on bringing their kids.  I would be delighted to get you in touch with them and recommend some great babysitters."

Just be firm, kind, and understand if they decide not to travel across the country to leave their kids with the babysitter.

I hope they take it well.  Good luck! 

Post # 4
596 posts
Busy bee

If this is within your budget, maybe you could arrange for a few babysitters to accomodate the children in a nearby hotel room suite / ?

Otherwise, I think you can be honest and tell them "We would be excited to see your children but unfortunately, the pond at our venue is dangerous for young children so we are not having any children at the wedding.  We understand that this is a huge inconvenience and we are very sorry, I won’t even be able to have my own nieces and nephews and young cousins attend, aside from the flower girl and ring bearer.  I hope you understand." 

Post # 5
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I also think that if you can swing to pay for a babysitter, it would be incredibly sweet.  It might also come across to them that you really care.  Providing a list of babysitters is probably enough of an effort on your part.  But they still have to arrange for this, which is another step for them.

I think also since the wedding is at your parents’ farm, they would be nervous about the liability.  The farm wasn’t established with public safty in mind.  I don’t think for your parents sake there would even be the option of bending the rules for little ones. 

Post # 6
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

WOW that is the situation. I would call them yourself and explain the situation, they have to understand and if not I suppose they will have to decline on coming. Offer the babysitting service to them and see how that works for them. I agree with Tanya that would probably be your best option. Good luck I am sure they will understand.

Post # 7
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Call them and explain the situation.  I have made several phone calls to people who RSVP-ed and included kids.  Most people are embarrassed that they didnt realize it is an adult reception.  I have not had any issues yet.  Plus you are giving them recs for babysitting…I probably would not offer to pay though unless I had extra in the budget.

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