(Closed) Guests Confused By Save the Dates

posted 4 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Just going to ask…has anyone contacted YOU and asked those questions? Save the dates are really common place so I don’t get how anyone would be confused over it.

 

Post # 3
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Your Future Mother-In-Law just sounds like she’s being a bitch. Save the Dates are normal. She is probably the only person who is ‘bewildered’ and is only saying other people are to make it look it’s not just her who doesn’t understand what she just got in the mail. Don’t be worried/embarrassed. 

Post # 4
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

yeah, my mil said people were confused by something on our invites but no-one on our side was and none of her side we asked actually was. i’d ignore it unless people come to you directly or explain the concept to your mil so she can explain if poeple are actually coming to her.

Post # 5
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

karamellokoala:  agree! 

I would sweetly ask who was confused so you can speak to them and watch her fluff. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  KBelle12.
Post # 6
Member
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

The only time I have ever received a save the date was for destination weddings so I don’t think they are as common as people seem to think. No one where I am would bother with them for a local wedding.

 

Post # 7
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

I can understand people being confused by them – the first time I ever heard of them was when I watched Bride Wars in the cinema! I really didn’t see the point of them to be honest, it’s only now that I’m planning a wedding that I can see how they’re useful!

We’re sending them out as we’re getting married over a Bank Holiday weekend, but we’re being very clear on them that the invitations will follow nearer the time. Not to mention the fact that they’re going out a year in advance!

To be honest, if you’ve only just sent them for this August, I could see how this could be misconstrued as just an early invitation. However, if nobody has actually asked YOU about them, then it’s probably just Future Mother-In-Law being awkward 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We did get a really cute “congrats and sorry we can’t be there” card from my mom’s aunt and uncle when we sent Save-The-Date Cards haha. I think older generations might not know what they are (especially if they haven’t attended any weddings recently), but I’d like to give people enough credit that they can figure out the wording on a single slip of paper. 

Did you include the “formal invitation to follow” line on them? If so, no excuses for confusion lol.

Post # 9
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

Save The Dates are a pretty new invention, there would be plenty of people out there who wouldn’t know what they were. Heck, I only know about them because of this forum. If I’d received something like that in the mail before I’d been on this forum, I would have thought it was an invitation too. 

If people haven’t been to a wedding in the past 5-10 years, they probably won’t know what they are. I imagine most of your guests wouldn’t be in that category, though, so it was still worth sending them out. And those that didn’t know what a Save The Date was have learnt something new!

Post # 10
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I had to send Save the Dates out in Dec for our September wedding as a lot of our guests (including my sister, our usher and even groom!) work places that have a policy where they have to book in all their days off and holidays for the year in the January. Some people – especially older guests – seemed a bit confused about the purpose of them but if I would have only sent them to the people who needed warning for work or would get the point of them, I was worried those older guests would think I’m they weren’t invited so we just went for it. 

Don’t be embarrassed! You havent done anything to be embarrassed about! ! If you wrote save the date on there, it’s obviously a save the date and not an invitation. If it didn’t say ‘you are invited to the wedding of… etc’ it’s not an invitation.

If people are so confused, I’m sure they can and would contact you directly to ask. I think your Mother-In-Law is probably just creating a fuss over nothing so stop worrying. Most likely she’s just not used to them so assuming everyone else will be in the same boat. If she keeps on about it, as a PP said, ask her who is confused as you’d like to tell them yourself that an invitation will follow. I bet if it’s anyone at all, it’s not as many people as she’s making out.

Post # 11
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have never gotten a wedding invite with out a STD. 10/10 I met your Future Mother-In-Law is just being obnoxious and she’s the only one “bewildered”

Post # 12
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

Save the date cards aren’t common in our area… They are great for destination weddings and for weddings that will take place around a busy/holiday weekend. However, they aren’t really required (although they have become more popular in the last several years, which makes them seems like a necessity). It’s quite possible that some of your guests were confused since they have never been invited to a wedding that sent out Save-The-Date Cards before the actual invite. Luckily, your Mother-In-Law is fielding all of the calls so she can explain it to them. Let her know you’re glad she is able to help in that way.

Post # 13
Member
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

It’s probably regional whether or not you get STDs?  I’m in the midwest, and for every wedding I’ve been to in the past 10 years, I’ve recieved a STD.  If I didn’t get one, I might be frustrated that I already had plans for that weekend.  I think your Future Mother-In-Law might be the one confused and is being wierd about it.  I wouldn’t worry about it.  Just move on.  I’m sure most if not all of your guests appreciate the STD!

Post # 14
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

A few older people that got our Save-The-Date Cards were super confused and concerned that they didn’t get “the full invitation”.  Luckily, we had people who understood what they were to help but we heard a few comments on how strange our invites were (they were STD postcards lol) until we sent out the proper invitations.

Post # 15
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee

There may be true confusion by people who don’t attend weddings all the time as Save-The-Date Cards a relatively newish.  Unless Future Mother-In-Law has a history of being snarky I wouldn’t assume she’s trying to passively-aggressively jab you.  It could simply be a case of people are approaching a family member rather than bothering/annoying/embarassing the bride with a question.  People don’t like to say something to the bride that might make her feel bad.  How many times do we see the advice, if you don’t register, that if asked to put out the word through family that you’re saving for something and cash is appreciated.  I think that gives credence to family members are sometimes asked things that brides are not.

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