(Closed) Guests didn’t give a gift at our wedding, now their wedding is coming up…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think that you should at least give a card.  I really don’t think it’s nice for people to show up with nothing at all.  No one says that you have to get a gift for the people, especially if you can’t afford it but something to acknowledge it would be nice.

Post # 4
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I try to not let the actions of other dictate my behavior. If you typically bring a gift when attending a wedding, I’d continue that behavior, regardless of this couple’s gifting history. 

Post # 5
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I could never show up to someone’s wedding giftless.  It was so rude that they did to yours…(I mean gosh, you can get a vase or candy dish on sale at Macy’s for like $25!) Unbelievable.

That being said, I would spend no more than $50 on a small gift for them. 

Post # 6
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

That’s rude that they showed up empty handed. Perhaps they didn’t know…I know this is a stretch but Fiance didn’t know  that’s what you suppose to do. He thought the shower gift was the wedding gift. It is possible that they maybe ignorant towards proper wedding etiquette.

I don’t think you should do that back to them. Although it was rude of them to show up empty handed weddings aren’t about gifts and money (shouldn’t be). I would say take the high road and at the least get them a card. I personally would probably buy them something small, depending on how close I am to them though. If it is a close friend or family member I would just brush it off and do what I would have if they had brought you a gift/card.

Post # 7
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with @redherring.  I don’t see why you wouldn’t give them a gift. 

Post # 8
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

Eh…I’d get them a card and not feel bad about it.

Post # 9
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

. $25 may not seem like a lot to you, but sometimes it’s the difference between eating or not. You don’t know their financial situation, they really may not have been able to afford one. Sure, they could have MADE a card, but still. Don’t let their faux pas give you a reason to commit one as well.

Post # 10
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Seriously?  Yikes.

Post # 11
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I always try to take something.  Maybe the reason they did not get you a gift had to do with their finances.  Or, did you have any gifts that you couldn’t match with a name?  In the very least, I would grab them a bottle of wine and a card.

Post # 12
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think that whether they gave you a gift should play into whether you give a gift. If you normally bring a gift to a wedding, you should bring one for this couple too.

I doubt they meant to be rude. I do think it’s better to come to a wedding whether you can bring a gift or not. We’ve had some remarks from some family members about money being really tight this year and that some can’t afford to come to the wedding and bring a gift too. We’d much rather they come then worry about buying us something! Perhaps that’s what happened with this couple too. I’d give them the benefit of the doubt.

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would just give them a card.

Post # 14
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would give them a gift, life is not about keeping score

Post # 15
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

You were clearly bothered by them not giving a gift so I would not do that to them as retaliation.. If you normally bring a gift, I would suggest you do that. Besides, what if they got you a gift and the card got lost or they mailed it and something happened along the way so it never made it to you, then you would feel really bad. As previously mentioned, you don’t know their motives and you should not change your behavior because of it.

Post # 16
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I have to agree with @redherring as well…You should do whatever you normally do for a wedding. 

The topic ‘Guests didn’t give a gift at our wedding, now their wedding is coming up…’ is closed to new replies.

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