(Closed) Guests disregarding no-kid rule

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
937 posts
Busy bee

There will be no kids at my wedding, including breastfed babies. We’re not including kids because it’ll be an afternoon wedding with dancing, music, and drinking. Not a great environment for kids, especially infants. If someone can’t attend because their child can’t be left alone for a few hours, then they can’t come to our wedding. 

Post # 17
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
crazy4disney:  This is totally my line of thought, but the internet can be a scary place when you don’t give mums a throne. 

Post # 18
Member
4251 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

View original reply
muskie2016:  So what will you do if they show up with kids?

Post # 19
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

If its a far away event, maybe the hotel will have a kids camp sitter service- that way the parents attend the wedding and reception – while the kids are occupied elsewhere. Then the parents still have thier kids- but they aren’t running rampant around your wedding. 

Post # 20
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Most women where I work come back 3 months after giving birth.  The office has a lactation room.  

Post # 21
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If she shows up with the kids have someone tell her to leave. If you have made it clear no children are allowed then they aren’t allowed! I didn’t have kids at my wedding and one person had a breast fed baby, she pumped and left the baby with the grandmother (my wedding was only 4 hours though and they said they were just pleased to get away after 4 months of hardly leaving the house) I did have a no show because they couldn’t find a sitter for their 13 year old (!?) and a decline because they were pissed their 12 year old wasn’t invited. 

Speak to the cousin explain it isn’t a personal smite against her it’s just logistics and then have someone prepared to ask her to leave if the kids come with her. That’s basically all you can do. Don’t stress about it though if she does bring the kids she’ll just get a lot of eye rolls from other guests. 

Post # 22
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - The Tall Ship Elissa, Galveston, TX

View original reply
garnobella:  Well damn, I missed out on my mom throne, lol. My baby is 20 now — Is it too late to request one and start acting all entitled?? :-p

 

Post # 24
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
crazy4disney:  haha yeah sorry I think you might have missed the boat. I know it’s a huge generalisation, but as someone who isn’t particularly fond of children I get so sick of being told I have to compromise my life/lifestyle for those who do have little ones. I choose to have a dog, but I’m not taking my dog to every social event I’m invited to, or sulking because he can’t come inside at a restaurant. Same goes with parents, you chose to have kids, so your life will change. But don’t try and force your kids or your child friendly lifestyle on everyone else. Dads don’t seem to be like that, it’s mums who couldn’t possibly leave their wee darling for a whole hour. Sorry, this topic drives me crazy! Haha. But I so appreciate your original comment. 

Post # 26
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee

I’ve probably posted this story a half a dozen times, but my BILs family is the poster family for a narcissitic sense of entitlement. They brought their uninvited kids to a wedding, who were the same age as the groom’s nieces, who weren’t invited and didn’t attend. My family got stuck at the same table as them, so they witnessed the aunt refusing the chicken tenders and fries platters, that the caterer managed to provide. She said loudly “my children eat adult food;” they left the platters on the table, and took the kids up to the adult buffet. My daughter – then in her early 20s – volunteered to eat one of the kids’ platters, because she felt bad it would go to waste.

When that daughter married, her wedding was 21 and up, except for her honorary little sister (high school), who was a bridesmaid. The decision was influenced by the behavior of that family, at the prior wedding. The aunt/uncle were the only 2 of 250 guest, who didn’t have the courtesy to RSVP. They boycotted since the centers of their universe wouldn’t have been the exception to the rule. They didn’t even acknowledge the wedding occurred, by taking two minutes to send a congratulatory e-mail. When my daughter/the bride saw the aunt the following year, she ended up lying to her about it, twice. Some people …

Post # 27
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
crazy4disney:  While I don’t really have an opinion on the exception thing for breastfeeding…

I do think it’s inaccurate to say that a mom can just pump. Some moms cannot pump even with good supply and for some it can have negative effects on their supply. Some babies won’t take bottles or there is reasonable concern with “nipple confusion” experienced. So, it’s not just black and white for each newborn and breastfeeding mother.

Post # 28
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

View original reply
karamellokoala:  I agree. The breastfeeding babies rules only applies to infants that has not yet started on solids. A 2 year old only breastfeeds as a supplement, not for basic nutrition.

I would spread the word now that you are having a adults only wedding and then speak privately to those with small infants still breastfeeding. If they RSVP with the kids, then go back straight away to sprt it out. They can choose to attend themselves or they can decline if they can’t find a sitter (or just have one of them go and have the other be home with the kids).

I am a mother of a 16 month old and if we got invited to an adults only wedding we would get a sitter or whomever was closest to the couple would go alone and the other would stay home with DS. As a parent it’s your responsibility to make arrangements, not everyone elses responsibiity to accommodate you.  

Post # 29
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - The Tall Ship Elissa, Galveston, TX

View original reply
soymilk:  Truly, I can appreciate that. But the main point is that it is each mom’s *choice*… To have kids, to breastfeed, whatever. Choices have consequences, and maybe one of those consequences is that you don’t go to weddings for a while! For YEARS, I didn’t see a movie that didn’t have talking trains or dancing chickens in them. I didn’t eat in fancy restaurants. I still unconsciously hum the “Barney & Friends” theme to myself. Having kids is a choice, and it changes things pretty drastically for a good while.

 

Post # 30
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

View original reply
soymilk:  I totally agree which is why I personally think you should allow infants that are still dependant on milk as their main source of food. However, if the couple does want a strict no kids wedding, you can just decline if you can’t leave the baby. Yes weddings are lovely, but it is just one day, your relationship should not be ruined just because you can’t attend.

The topic ‘Guests disregarding no-kid rule’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors