(Closed) Guests drama – what to do?

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would let her know, as she would be most likely to be upset by it.  I would of course tell her that she would be seated far from him at the reception since you don’t necessarily expect them to interact with each other.

It’s been years and hopefully this won’t become an issue.

Post # 4
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would let her know, too.  I think that being that they’re both adults, they should be able to shelf it for one day.  Let he know ahead of time and tell her you completely understand if it will too awkward for her and you understand if she doesn’t want to attend.  Hopefully they can set their differences aside for this one day.

Post # 5
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have kind of the same issue.. My MaidOH was married to a good high school friend of my FI’s, and he and his brother are both invited to the reception. Their marriage ended badly, about 3 years ago, and at first we were apprehensive about inviting the ex, but we both decided that we are all adults. We told both my MaidOH and her ex that the other would be there. I haven’t gotten his RSVP yet, but he’s told me multiple times (we see him about 2 times a month) that he will be there. We’ll see what happens!

Post # 7
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think it would be best to give them a heads up.  Beyond that,  7 years is a long time and even if they are still upset they should be able to put that aside for your day. 

I had an old boyfriend from college, man I looooved that guy and we had this rocky relationship, he was older and I met him through my older brother.  He wrote me all these great love notes as I was travelling and such but apparently was dating someone the whole time. Oh I was so heartbroken!  Years after we dated, and I had just returned from 2 years in the Peace Corps, my brother was married.  The ex guy didn’t even bother showing up for the wedding even though he was in town and his whole family was there!  (they were like "yeah he’s sleeping on the couch at home")  I was secretly relieved that I didn’t have to see him.  Several people thought he didn’t show because I was there.  I don’t know, but it was lame and really hurt my brother’s feelings but apparently the x boyfriend guy did finally tell my brother that he is sorry he did that.  Sigh.  Drama.


Post # 8
1428 posts
Bumble bee

As long as they each know to expect seeing one another, then you’ve done all you can do as a friend.
IMO…there is NOTHING worse than showing up at a party/wedding/event and running into your ex unexpectedly….then finding out (yes this has happened to me) that he was invited all along but the host declined to let you know in advance.

Post # 9
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah, especially since you are friends and likely talk anyway, just give her a heads up. Honestly, they are both adults and it will probably not be a big deal at all, but preparedness always helps!

Post # 10
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

I would definitely let them know that the other will be there… especially the girl. If I was in her shoes, I would want to know.

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