(Closed) Guests forgot their presents…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

A lot of people don’t bring gifts to the wedding; they send them to your house afterward. Most people who gave us gifts did not bring them to the wedding. 

As for your “friendor”…had you guys agreed on a price before she rendered her services? It sounds like maybe you didn’t. It sucks, but I think you have to just suck it up and move on… chalk it up to experience.

Congrats on the wedding.

Post # 4
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s weird :/ I’m sorry. I’d say remind them casually if you can, if not…. sit tight and hope for the best? Maybe they’ll realize eventually. If it’s an excuse that’s a pretty bad one, though. :/ 

Post # 6
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it a little rude to track down people who have not given you a wedding present.  Your freind who helped you out if you didn’t agree upon a price then maybe what she charged you is what she thinks is fair.  Is it really worth losing a friend over.

Post # 8
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsRugbee:  if you’re still a bit confused about the ‘friend’s services’ and she didn’t give you a gift either, why don’t you ask her for a receipt for her services.  (you need one to finalize the wedding budget variances).  to me, that would indicate that it was not a gift but a service rendered.  if she still doesn’t acknowledge a gift, then lesson learned.  i have been in the same situation and you feel obligated to pay someone for their services not knowing if this will be considered their ‘gift’ to you.

Post # 9
46600 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Contrary to some people’s thinking, there is no obligation for guests to give you a gift.

A wedding is no different than any other social occasion in that manner.

Personally, I can’t imagine going to a wedding without sending a gift to the couple. I do it ahead of time to lessen the workload on the day of the wedding.

I’m glad you realize that it would be rude to inquire re gifts not received.

Post # 11
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with you. Although it might not be totally ‘necessary’ to bring a present to a wedding, in most cultures it is extremely rude for people to bring absolutely nothing. 

Post # 12
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had 2 and yeah, they brought them later. One we joke about because it was 5 months later. lol

Post # 13
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The situation with your friendor is certainly awkward. 

We come from similar cultures so I totally agree, it’s very insulting to show up to anything empty handed. I can also understand not being able to afford it but if these guests are also Greek they would know what they’re doing is rude. 

Post # 15
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Whether or not you should bring a gift to a wedding, I don’t think anyone can argue that your gift is the price of admission. Or that it is polite to call someone up to ask “where’s my gift?”

No matter how you word it, it will be rude.  People will hear you asking them to pay up, even if that is not your intent.  It also appears that you care more about the gift then their presence at your wedding.

Just wait for them to say something about it, if they never do, then just be grateful they were there to spend one of your best days with you.

Post # 16
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes!  As a guest, I have gone to weddings without a gift in hand, but I either sent it the next day or had sent it prior to the wedding.  I always bring a card to put in the box, too.  

It’s funny about etiquette…brides & grooms are told to not expect a gift, and guests are told to always bring something, even if just a card.  

I agree that you can’t say anything, just wait it out.  

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