(Closed) Guests have declined after save the date… what to do now?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes, etiquette is you still send the invitation.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@autumn865: I wouldn’t. I think you’ve done your due diligence. I would only send one if it was a really close friend and you just wanted to show them your cute invite, but I would attach a note that says something like ‘I know you’re not able to make it, but I really wanted you to see the invites we chose! We’ll miss you!’

Post # 5
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have no idea how etiquette goes in this case, but I like @bakerella ‘s suggestion. 

 

Post # 6
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had a couple say no after the STD, but sent the invitation anyways.  Circumstances changed and they were able to come. 

Post # 7
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We have one of fiance’s friends that said he has to go to his g/f’s grandfather’s 90th birthday party that day, so he won’t make it.  Also, my aunt and uncle are missionaries in Africa and it’s almost certain they can’t afford the extra trip back here.  But we are sending them all invites anyway.

Post # 10
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I was just the invited guest in this same situation – we knew we couldn’t make it, so I told the bride. She sent us an invitation anyways, which I appreciated, and we sent thtem an official RSVP along with a wedding present – which I know they appreciated! Besides, there were ~6 months between STD and official invite, and if we had changed our plans, it would have been nice to be able to go…

Post # 11
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeh, I sent people like this an invitation anyway with a note that said, “I know that you can’t make it, but the invitation is always open to you if your plans change!”

Post # 12
Member
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t unless they informed me that circumstances have changed and they are able to come. But definitely send a thank you card for the gifts.

Post # 13
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Most of Kingy’s family can’t come but we’re still sending invites to let them know that we wish they could come be a part of it. I like Bakerella’s idea!

Post # 14
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t. If you decide to, I definitely like the idea of sending a note like PPs suggested saying you know they can’t come-honestly if I had made the effort already to tell you I couldn’t come, sent a gift, etc., I’d probably be just slightly annoyed if I felt like I had to mail back an RSVP too 🙂

Post # 15
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Military plans usually don’t change. So I wouldnt send one to that guest. But the one in Africa is there “until further notice”. You never know when that will change. I would send one as a courtesy. Worst case scenario, they can’t come.

Post # 16
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I believe etiquette states that you should still send the invite. But I know if I told the bride and groom that we couldn’t make it and they still sent an invite it may seem a little gift grabby.

I think bakerella had the best suggestion,that way if you note something on there it won’t seem gift grabby.

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