Post # 1
So here’s an etiquette question I have no idea the right answer…
We have two guests that after receiving the save the dates have said that they cannot come to the wedding (one is in the military and will be overseas and the other is having citizenship issues with his wife and will be in Africa until further notice). They have already sent their regrets and gifts and I have already sent thank you notes.
Do we still send an invitation? Or would that be overkill?
Post # 3
Yes, etiquette is you still send the invitation.
Post # 4
@autumn865: I wouldn’t. I think you’ve done your due diligence. I would only send one if it was a really close friend and you just wanted to show them your cute invite, but I would attach a note that says something like ‘I know you’re not able to make it, but I really wanted you to see the invites we chose! We’ll miss you!’
Post # 5
I have no idea how etiquette goes in this case, but I like @bakerella ‘s suggestion.
Post # 6
We had a couple say no after the STD, but sent the invitation anyways. Circumstances changed and they were able to come.
Post # 7
We have one of fiance’s friends that said he has to go to his g/f’s grandfather’s 90th birthday party that day, so he won’t make it. Also, my aunt and uncle are missionaries in Africa and it’s almost certain they can’t afford the extra trip back here. But we are sending them all invites anyway.
Post # 8
@heathaah: Is that a snuggie you’re wearing? Niiice. 🙂
Post # 9
Post # 10
I was just the invited guest in this same situation – we knew we couldn’t make it, so I told the bride. She sent us an invitation anyways, which I appreciated, and we sent thtem an official RSVP along with a wedding present – which I know they appreciated! Besides, there were ~6 months between STD and official invite, and if we had changed our plans, it would have been nice to be able to go…
Post # 11
Yeh, I sent people like this an invitation anyway with a note that said, “I know that you can’t make it, but the invitation is always open to you if your plans change!”
Post # 12
I wouldn’t unless they informed me that circumstances have changed and they are able to come. But definitely send a thank you card for the gifts.
Post # 13
Most of Kingy’s family can’t come but we’re still sending invites to let them know that we wish they could come be a part of it. I like Bakerella’s idea!
Post # 14
I wouldn’t. If you decide to, I definitely like the idea of sending a note like PPs suggested saying you know they can’t come-honestly if I had made the effort already to tell you I couldn’t come, sent a gift, etc., I’d probably be just slightly annoyed if I felt like I had to mail back an RSVP too 🙂
Post # 15
Military plans usually don’t change. So I wouldnt send one to that guest. But the one in Africa is there “until further notice”. You never know when that will change. I would send one as a courtesy. Worst case scenario, they can’t come.
Post # 16
I believe etiquette states that you should still send the invite. But I know if I told the bride and groom that we couldn’t make it and they still sent an invite it may seem a little gift grabby.
I think bakerella had the best suggestion,that way if you note something on there it won’t seem gift grabby.