Guests invited to Ceremony but NOT Reception okay?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

No. All guests invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception and all guests invited to the reception must be invited to the ceremony. People will wonder why they aren’t good enough to be invited to both events.

That said, your guests do not dictate who attends and who doesn’t. That is the job of the bride and groom who are hosting the wedding. You decide whom you want to be there, that you cannot imagine spending the day without. Your guest list is also dependent on how much you can afford to spend and how much room you have to hold that number of folks. Anyone who does not make the cut gets an announcement.

 

Post # 4
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yea…I would not do that….That might get nasty and awkward

Post # 6
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I have to agree with the other ladies, if they get an invite to the ceremony they should get an invite to the reception.

Post # 7
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is tough. Honestly most weddings that I have attended the ceremony and reception have been at different locations and I have always attended both. I really don’t know how you are going to handle this. Maybe you could do a small church reception immediately after the ceremony. Just have cake or some type of dessert and drinks. Later go to dinner with the family and close friends???

Post # 8
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We are in a similar situation. I look at it with a much different perspective than the ladies above.

Since you’re wedding is in a church I’m going to assume you, and many of your guests will be religious. If they are, they’ll know that the WEDDING CEREMONY is the most important part of the day, not the some large, fancy party following it. If they have the right attitude they will feel privileged to share in that sacred event. If they don’t, you have to question how good of friends they really are.

We are inviting 200 people to our wedding ceremony. Only 100 will be attending the reception that night. A few weeks later we’ll be having a much less formal pot-luck style reception for the second half of our guest list.

I do think it is important however, that guests traveling a distance be invited to both the reception/ceremony.

I think Tonya2010’s idea might work well, if not something like what we’re doing might take care of the problem all together.

Post # 10
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Also keep in mind that all your guests need to be treated equally.

Post # 11
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

No, there’s really no way to do it without leaving a bad impression.  Is there any way you can scale down on the reception so you include everyone?  Is the venue all paid for? What’s the numbers difference between who you want to invite and who you can invite?

Post # 12
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i don’t think that is ok.  seems kind of rude to me.  i have recieved invites before saying i’m invited to the dance part of the reception only.  I hate those invites.  I don’t go to those weddings ever.

Post # 13
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

No. I agree with Selene, it’s rude. If a guest is invited to the ceremony, then they need to be invited to the reception. That’s proper etiquette. I would be extremely offended. An invitation to the ceremony carries a gift obligation. You would hate for your guests to think that you just wanted gifts, but didn’t want to have to pay to feed them.

If you can’t afford everyone, cut your list. Sometimes you have to be a little cutthroat.

Post # 14
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

The wedding ceremony is the most important part of the day, so people should be happy with just attending the ceremony. If they are not, then that is their own problem and should be none of your concern. 

Invite whoever you can to the reception. I don’t think it’s rude at all. My cousin is a school teacher and invited her students to the ceremony only, and that was perfectly fine. I don’t think they were expecting an invitation to the reception anyway.

I was considering sending some friends who I am not very close with anymore, but who I was at some point, an invitation to only the ceremony. I mean, that’s the focus of the day anyway. Not the party– that’s just for people who ARE my family and friends NOW.

Post # 15
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@karina- I’m sure your cousin only invited them to the ceremony because they’re kids. It’s acceptable to have a full ceremony and an adults-only reception.

Post # 16
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That is a good point– although, they did have kids at the reception.

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