(Closed) Guests inviting guests

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Get on the phone asap and tell them that you are only able to accommodate those whose names are on the invite due to space, budget, whatever. That’s just rude to invite random strangers. If these are true friends, they should not be offended.

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

I think the best thing is to tell them are that you are sorry, but you are at max capacity.  That is something nobody can get offended about or argue about!!!   (Even though people should know that what they are doing is RUDE and unfair to everyone) 

Post # 5
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with previous posters that you need to have a quick conversation with these guests to clear things up. Its uncomfortable, but necessary. I am a non-confrontation person and we had the same problem. So I gathered up my courage and told these people in a very kind and gentle way that we just couldn’t accomodate plus ones. Fortunetly, the guests were very understanding and it turns out they just didn’t know the etiquette and there were no hard feelings at all. Thank goodness!

Post # 6
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think that often, guests just don’t realize that they don’t automatically have a +1 and are usually pretty understanding (and slightly embarrassed) when told that they overstepped their bounds.  Just tell them.  As was said above, if they’re your real friends, they’ll be fine with it.

Post # 7
Member
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I ran into this several times – husband’s cousins invited friends when they have no boyfriend or +1.  We ended up just letting it slide in order to keep the peace.  However, if you’re at capacity, you definitely should very nicely say that it’s really just not possible.

Post # 8
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Isn’t it crazy how this happens? I’m not always the most aware gal on the planet, but I would never ever even think about just adding on a guest for myself!

FI’s aunt was left by her husband shortly before the invitations went out and we were told that he already moved in with another woman. So obviously, this guy was not invited. Her response card just came in (after we had to call her and ask if she’s coming…she never RSVP’d) and wouldn’t you know…she included her (ex?) husband on the response!

Okay then. Fiance and I are just eating this one at this point because his family is already kicking up enough drama and acting insulted by everything.

Post # 9
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is really annoying!! We had a lot of people RSVP with plus-one’s who didn’t get invited with one. But since we had so many declines, it didn’t matter. It kidn of annoyed me just becuase I don’t know these people who are now coming to my wedding and the guests did not ASK me, but luckily I didn’t have to have any awkward conversations..

Post # 10
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I invited one person who RSVP’d for three people when we only invited 1!! He took it upon himself to invite his grown children who don’t live at home and that I don’t know and he never sees/ doesn’t like to our wedding!

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