Post # 1
Has anyone else had this problem?
My Fiance and I invited his cousin….his name was the only name on the envelope. He replies with him and his girlfriend, we didn’t even know he had one. I guess they’ve been together for a little less than a year so we’re like “ok fine whatever”.
Then his Aunt and Uncle decline but say “oh we could have our daughter and her boyfriend attend to represent our family.” Their daughter, my Fiance cousin, was not invited because he has a large family and we had to cut the list off somewhere and she wasn’t on it along with a lot of his other cousins. Our guests list is small (105ppl) and we want to have a very intimate day with people we see on a regular basis. We never see his cousin and we don’t have a close realationship with her. I would rather her not come but I don’t know how to politely say “if you’re unable to attend we understand but we have other guests that we would like to invite instead of your daughter.”
Post # 3
@june2013bride: Hm, that is tough. It might be uncomfortable, but I think it’s within your rights to say “the invitation is for you, we’d love for you to be able to attend, but if you can’t we’ll understand”. Maybe some of the etiquitte gurus will have better advice, good luck!
Post # 4
Maybe I’m just too blunt, but I’d say that the invite was for the people whose names were on the invitation. Her name wasn’t on the invitation and you didn’t send her one, so she’s not invited. Simple as that.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I would say that you regret they cannot attend and that the invitations are not tickets and are therefore nontransferable.
Post # 6
Thank you for your feedback, it was very helpful.
Post # 7
@june2013bride: I am 5 days away from my big day and people are still calling and asking if they can bring someone!!! At some point, you have to be very blunt and simply say NO! We had to call at least a quarter of our guest list because they wrote people in that were not invited. My question is, have these people not ever been to a wedding before??? Who does that??? We are having a plated served meal and a cash bar. So we have extended verbal invites for after dinner to a few people who said they wanted to come. I am flattered that so many people want to be a part of our day, but they have no idea how expensive it is to add even 1 extra person.
So my advice to you is, keep your head up, and stand firm. My standard answer was, “we would really love for you to be able to bring a guest, however, do to budget and space restrictions; that is not going to be possible. Thanks for understanding!” 😉 Good luck and don’t stress, this is your day, enjoy it!!!
Post # 8
@june2013bride: Exactly what you said should suffice: “i’m sorry you cannot attend. Unfortunately, we can not/will not be substituting guests.”
Also, I would not have let the cousin adding his Girlfriend fly: you didnt invite him with a guest, it is incredibly tacky to just add one on.
Post # 9
@june2013bride: if you extend an invite, In My Humble Opinion even if you are inviting person A I’d say they have the right to give their invite to someone else…? I’m not sure how I’d feel about that.
Post # 10
@june2013bride: We’ll find out soon. I have a feeling it’s not just going to be dates, but a plethora of kids (some with dates) as well! Hey, they’re welcome to show up but they’ll have to stand and watch everyone else eat.
Post # 11
Yep, I’ve already had a few friends (who have no SO’s to speak of, not even close) have made comments about who they are going to bring to the wedding. As in their friends. Even though I only addressed everything to them individually.
But I just decided, hey, these are my friends, I want them to have fun at my lil shindig so to hell with it! You only get married once. So I let it go.
However it would be different if someone just showed up without letting me know, I would hate not to have a setting for them.