(Closed) Guests inviting other guests…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Invitations are not transferable.  She was really rude to even think she could just bring 2 more from her household.

Your Future Mother-In-Law is an idiot to force you to save 4 seats for them instead of just 2 for the mom and dad. 

Post # 4
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t think you can do anything about it.  Sure, that’s not “how it works,” but I’m not sure I would have invited only 4 people out of a household of 10. 

Post # 5
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

First, I would wait until I got the rsvp`s. Then , I would have Fiance deal with it as they are his family friends.

We are happy that you  and your husband are able to attend the wedding. Mom mentioned  that you told her _____ and ____ are unable to attend.  We would have loved to have them attend our special day. There must have been some sort of mistake on their rsvp. Unfortunately we are unable to allow substitutes to attend in their place. We had to limit our invitations and were not able to extend invitations to everyone we wanted to attend. We are sure that you will understand .

Post # 7
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, that stinks that they are behaving that way. However, at this point, it sounds like fighting this will probably cause you a lot of hassle and may not be worth it in the long run. If they are shameless or ignorant enough to be that rude, what can you really do?

Post # 8
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Miss Heirloom:  what did your FI’s mom say to her?  And, yes, while it’s not how it works, I can understand how they want to fill those two unused invites (similar to the guest whose spouse had to work and so they bring a different date – ok, not so similar, but in a very distant vein).

I think if FI’s mom isn’t going to say anything, you should just let it go.  If not, have Fiance talk to the family and let them know they can’t use the other invites.

Post # 10
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First thing first… you have to WAIT until the Reply Cards come in to see what has transacted… up until then this is all just hearsay / rumour

Agree with the other Bees, when the time comes you’ll probably want your Fiance* to handle it, as he knows all the players… and I’d follow the “script” that julies1949: laid out

*Lol, unless you are the one who has a harder disposition, and because you don’t know these folks won’t pegged into a corner by their insistence / possible begging on the phone.

If it was me… I wouldn’t allow them ANY transfer (lol, this isn’t tickets they won to a concert off the radio !!)

Sorry but if there is 10 of them in the family in one house, it does seem inappropriate if only some from the younger generation can come / and others not be invited… so let me assure you that you did the “right” thing in the beginning by sending the 2 sets of Invites to the senior members of the Robinson Family (Grandparents & Parents)

Do keep us abreast of how this all develops,


Post # 11
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow, awkward. I wonder how they would feel if they invited me to a Christmas party, and I said “Well, no, I can’t make it, but I found this hobo and he looks really hungry, so can I just have him come in my place?”

It boggles my damn mind how little people know about how all this works. You just don’t do that!

Post # 12
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

honstly, I would not let her bring two more people. how dare she help herself to two seats at your wedding/reception that YOU are paying for? how does she know you don’t have two more friends/family you’d like to invite now that those seats are open? even if you don’t, she should NOT assume she can just take them anyway, they weren’t offered to her FOR her parents, they were offered to the parents directly. I would say something, this is serious overstepping and I would absolutely not allow her to bring two more people, I’m so upset and I don’t even know these people! WTF! DON’T LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS, tell her very directly that she has four seats, NOT six, end of story! if she has a problem she can not attend at all then there’s 4 more seats you don’t have to pay for. 

Post # 15
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Grrr. It would have been smart to specify who the invitation was for – it’s easier to make the argument that the invitation is non-transferable.

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