(Closed) Guests lists and hurt feelings

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Are you paying, or is your mom?  If you are, then your mom really doesn’t get a say.  Each wedding is different and she has no right to (like you said) punish you/your friend’s parents over a perceived slight.  If she is paying… well it’s still lame, but it’s her money…

Post # 4
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lolot:  +1. This is what I was going to say too.

Post # 5
4173 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

You just tell your mother, that the next time she gets married, she can invite anyone she likes, but this time you’ll decide who is or is not invited…if this is important to you, it’s important…being invited to weddings is not a tit for tat type of thing and while I understand that NOTHING irritates people more than NOT recieving an invitation, she’s just going to have to be gracious on this issue, since the alternative includes her throwing a public fit over something that is silly, small and in the past anyway.

Post # 6
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you think it’s awful how your mom is acting.  Invite them!  That’s too bad your mom spent money in hopes of getting an invitation, but you cannot control that.  If she wanted it to be a gift, she would not have expected anything in return.

Post # 9
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@SweetHoneyBee:  I feel for you! My mom got all out of wack about my FI’s parents being on the invitations because they weren’t paying for the venue, but in reality are putting in just as much money as my parents. It was hard and at first I gave in & said fine then they won’t be on the invitations. But the more I thought about it the angrier it made me til one day i snapped and told her “They’re going on the invitations, they’re my in-laws, and they are helping US out by paying. It’s my wedding.” She didn’t talk to me for like two days, but got over it and now she is buddy buddy with Future Mother-In-Law whom she didn’t like for the longest time.

Stand your ground, trust me, it will work out!!!!! I have to stand up to Future Mother-In-Law bc she wants girls that used to like Fiance there so they can meet guys because they missed out on him? What? Not happening! And that’s been an issue with us as well!

Post # 11
2426 posts
Buzzing bee

@SweetHoneyBee:  Hopefully she has cooled down a bit and realizes that she was wrong! I hope there isn’t any more drama.

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