(Closed) Guests more likely to attend out-of town weddings if they can bring their kids??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do people expect to be able to bring small kids when traveling to an out of town wedding?
    Yes, definitely more likely for people to travel if they can bring their kids : (19 votes)
    66 %
    No, parents of toddlers will find child-care and welcome the time away! : (5 votes)
    17 %
    I have no idea : (5 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We’re getting married about an hour and a half from where the majority of my extended family lives and we are planning on them not coming because we are NOT having their kids come. Seriously, worst kids ever. I’m talking playing with dinosaurs on my great grandfathers CASKET at the funeral/ visitation. Course, thats mostly bad PARENTING but it goes without saying.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it’s fine to have your cousin in your wedding party but to have an “adults only” wedding. That’s not a problem.

    However, I think expecting people to come 2-4 hours away to a wedding for a whole weekend, especially when they have young kids, may deter them. Or what you may find is people will come to your wedding but not stay the whole weekend. Can you have the kids at the reception? Or could you arrange to keep the kids occupied with someone for a whole day? Like an activity day where they can make some crafts, have some lunch, go to the pool for a couple hours with a couple child minders? It is another thing to arrange but that’s the only way that I think you would get what you’d like, which is to have your nearest and dearest with you but only the children around at selected times.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    we are inviting kids, but the majority of our family are chosing to leave the kids at home anyway. they are using it as a reason to have time for just the two of them and they’re leaving the kids with their inlaws.

    Post # 6
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I just recently got married and it sounds like you are doing exactly what we did!  My husband is from OH and I’m from MD so we picked a place in the middle.  We made the decision early on that the only children we would invite would be 3 nephews and a niece.  We explicitly stated this information on the save-the-dates. Where I come from, this is pretty standard; where he comes from, thats another story. There was a lot of whining about the no kid policy from his side but we did not let that deter us.  People will come if they really want to come. Some guests that came left kids at home while others brought a sitter with them to the hotel. Not everyone came for the whole weekend, but a lot of people did so we were able to spend lots of time with friends and family.  For us, our decision was simple.  If we were to include kids it would have added at least 60 people to our guest list.  Moreover, we really wanted a small-ish wedding and knew if we invited kids then some people were more likely to come.  At the end of the day, those people that really love you and your fiance will be there–no matter what it takes and most people will be excited about a romantic weekend away.  Two pieces of advice: give people plenty of advance notice about the kid situation and depending on where the wedding is in relation to lodging, look into providing transportation for guests.  Whatever you can do to accomodate (and spoil) the guests that do come–especially those that come for the whole weekend–do it!! Good luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I have no idea… my Fiance and I are kinda in the same boat. We’re inviting a bunch of his close buddies & their wives to our 1st wedding/reception, but since it’s 3000 miles away we’ve debated as to if we should extend the invitation to their children.

    In your situation, I think it’s a nice idea to keep the option open for Out of Town guests to bring their children along. Don’t invite the kids right off the bat, but if the parents ask, I’d let them tag along. Also kids menu’s usually cost peanuts… 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1892 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We are kinda in the same situation. FH and I are actually hoping people don’t come because of having kids in school and not wanting to travel 7 hours with them to our semi-destination wedding. We want a small wedding and he has a lot of cousins with children of their own. Our venue does not have room for everyone.

    However, 3 of our nephews are in the wedding and so they will be coming. But I feel like neices and nephews are different. We were doing to make a cut off at 1st cousins and their children would be our 2nd cousins so you get the idea.

    I’m sure some of your friends and family could have other relatives (those not coming to the wedding) watch their children. I also like the idea of not directly inviting kids but if people ask and it is their only option to allow them to come. Not everyone is going to want to attend every event of the weekend so maybe people could take turns babysitting as well?!

    Post # 9
    Member
    7053 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I am a single mom (well only in the legal sense now) and wouldn’t go to an out of town wedding if I couldn’t bring my son.

    Just bein’ honest.  It’s hard to pay for a babysitter for an entire weekend and it makes some parents nervous to do that (if grandma and grandpa are busy) besides it being expensive.

    It’s also nice to have a happy family weekend away. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I think the option makes people more open to coming, if you tell people specifically that they can’t bring their kids it kind of deters them. If they have the option to bring them they may opt out to enjoy the weekend away. We have a similar situation with our wedding, I wanted no kids for our Friday night mostly destination wedding (about 2 hours for most to travel), but Future Mother-In-Law insisted we at least invite the children so as not to offend the parents.

    Post # 11
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Is it wrong that this makes me soooo happy that we are not having kids at our wedding???

    Post # 12
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    A 2-4 hr drive for alot of people is nothing. From what I have personally seen, if kids are invited, there is a much higher chance of adults attending. If kids aren’t invited, then the adult guest count goes down drastically.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1020 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I’m pretty sure that no kids = less parents coming. This is a worry for us as well.

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