(Closed) Guests RSVPing YES then not showing up (RANT)

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was pretty ticked off that quite a few people also didnt show up at my wedding and I had other people who wanted to come even at the very last minute and these stupid people kpe insisting that they would definitely be there and then did not show

Post # 4
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Sadly this does happen and it’s the BIGGEST annoyance of ALL things wedding-related IMO.  We had 7 couples RSVP YES and then not show.  I don’t know if it was because of the holiday or what.  A few had reasonable excuses, but this was an $850 loss for us (which, we could’ve put towards a better photographer).  It makes it hard not to have hard feelings towards those people that didn’t even contact us to apologize and/or even send a gift/card.  I would recommend that you anticipate a few no shows and even to cut your list down a bit so you don’t pay for those meals.  Good Luck!

Post # 5
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, I had one couple RSVP yes and then no-show. I was PISSED.  It was not a reasonable excuse, either – “Oh, I forgot about it when I scheduled my research trip…”  WTF?! Oh yeah, and no card, no nothing.  I have to wonder if this is because it’s the husband that we knew, not the wife.  I somehow have the feeling that she wouldn’t have been so careless.

Post # 6
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

the same thing happened to me. 20 ppl rsvp yes and then didnt show up. I was super upset about it but Darling Husband said it best “try not to worry about them. the ppl that were most important and cared about us most were there!” i was upset about losing the money etc…. but in the end there was nothing I can do about it. Just focus on whats most important!

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Keep a guest list to family and friends! You know their situations and personalities, so you can better plan and recover should someone not make it.  Once you get out into the aquaintence world , it gets dicey!

Post # 8
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That sucks :-/ Understandbly sh** happens and things come up. But if I’m on the fence about anything, I usually just politely decline. Good thing for us, we’re doing buffet and just getting food for 300 people. And we may possibly be eating BBQ for the week after!

Post # 9
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I understand how this could be annoying but things happen. I rsvpd yes to my cousins wedding and was not able to make due to my mom moving to South Carolina when she was my ride. I could not afford to fly up or even drive up. Sorry you are so annoyed by this but maybe something came up last minute. 

Post # 10
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@nhanvey: Yeah, but unless what came up was that they’re lying in a hospital bed with amnesia and broken fingers, they should DEFINITELY call and let the hosts know BEFORE the wedding. Even if it’s short notice, it’s still infinitely more polite and respectful than just not showing up.

Post # 11
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@nhanvey: Did your mum move to S. Caroline on the day of the wedding? If not, you probably had enough time to call and tell the bride that you were not going to come. I hated when my guests did it. And a couple of them were family members who KNEW they weren’t going to come even though the wedding was 20mins from their house. I haven’t gotten a phone call or anything from them either 🙁

Post # 12
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am still furious with my husband’s uncle. They live far enough away that they had to fly to the wedding, rsvped yes for 3 (their 5 year old was one of hte only children we invited, since we figured they wouldn’t come otherwise…the venue had no children’s meal, so we were paying for an adult meal for him).  We found out 3 days before the wedding, after the final count was already in, that they weren’t coming.  I was so mad. Not only did it cost me 3 meals, but that 3 was enough to have to add an extra table, and therefore a centerpiece.  I ended up having to redo my seating chart 3 days before the wedding, and we had an extra centerpiece that cost $250 and was just on the gift table.  I honestly do not know how I am going to deal with seeing this family at the holidays.  And of course, they didn’t send even a card to congratulate us, never mind a gift.

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