(Closed) Guests showing up late to the ceremony.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s definitely rude, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt on this one. Sure, there are always SOME people who are just thoughtless, but sometimes other stuff comes up. Traffic, emergencies, etc.  I feel like it’s just easier to assume the best, rather than assume the worst.

I actually have a wedding to go to this Friday that I’m terrified we’ll be late to. It’s an hour or so outside Boston, it’s at 6:30 on a Friday evening, and it’s going to be really hard for Darling Husband to leave work early.  Rush hour + Friday night wedding = there are going to be people who are late.  I just hope it’s not us!

Post # 4
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ugh.   Can I ask if their invitations indicated that the ceremony would start at that time (ie, get there early)?

We must start on time, our officiant has another wedding an hour after ours finishes.  I’m thinking of putting a half-hour earlier start time on our invitations to prevent latecomers.

Post # 5
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Most weddings don’t start on time, so I don’t really blame them. 

Post # 6
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not only do most weddings dont seem to start on time, this is the first time many people have been to that location. That means the chances of getting lost or misjudging traffic is high.

You will not notice who is late as long as they dont make a huge scene when you are up there with you husband. If you are noticing a quiet person seating themselves, then you are not paying attention to what is important.

Post # 7
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re getting married on a boat out on the river so anyone who’s late gets left behind; we have a VERY short list of those folks we will hold the boat for, and have told guests several times to please call if they’re running late. Still taking bets on who gets left behind though!

Post # 8
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree, showing up late to a wedding is very rude and inconsiderate. But I would also give guests the benefit of the doubt, as unforeseen circumstance do arise (traffic, emergencies, car trouble, etc.) But I wouldn’t sweat the small stuff, especially beyond my control. Just enjoy your day!

Post # 9
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@fishbone:  ths is awesome.  If only I had a be-there-or-the-boat-leaves-without-you option to motivate FI’s family.

Post # 10
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Guests should get there on time but things happen. I would not be surprised if there would be some latecomers to our ceremony. What matters most is that the key people (wedding party, parents, close relatives) are there. Not going to worry about my perpetually late friend from high school.

I don’t like the idea of telling people that the wedding starts earlier than it actually does. I went to a wedding that started ~ 1 hour after the time on the invitation! They must have wrote an earlier time on the invitation.

Post # 11
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s definitely rude, especially if they make a scene coming in, but things happen – traffic, getting lost, etc.  I also feel if I arrived late to a wedding I would simply wait outside  – it stinks to have missed it but its worse to make a scene coming in.  That is why you should (at least for my family who is notoriously late to everything!) tell people the wedding starts earlier than it does! I will be putting 5:00 on my invitations, even though the ceremony will not start until 5:30.  We will have cocktail and music playing while people wait so it’s not like they will be angry about sitting in an empty room waiting for it to begin.  

Post # 12
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am notorious for being late… Except for weddings I think that is extremely rude. I usually tell myself 30 mins earlier in my head and then I arrive there 30 mins before… Maybe not for everyone buti would rather stand around for ages than risk being late. 

Funny how when I know it is important I can be on time but otherwise….

Post # 13
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Gulp. I definitely was late to a wedding once. I felt horrible. I was able to sneak into the back of the church, unnoticed, but still. I misjudged how long it would take us to get there.

…And because of that, I’m setting up our (outdoor) ceremony so that late guests can easily sneak in unnoticed!

Post # 14
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, it is a bit rude but it happens at every single wedding I have ever shot.  If you are gathering 200 people in one place, a few are going to be chronically late.  It’s just how it is.  Rarely do they ever make a scene when they do arrive late…they just slip into the back pews fairly unannounced.  They are the ones missing out…I wouldn’t let it bother you a bit. 

Post # 16
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I went to a wedding yesterday and 2 people showed up so late that they CUT OFF two bridesmaids to get to their seats! I was dying! If you’re that late, just wait in the lobby… oh, and they were wearing sweatpants haha. It was odd. 

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