Post # 1
So, I sent my invites out and already got my first somewhat strange RSVP request. The wedding is in our hometown, but pretty much everyone is traveling from out of town, it’s pretty small (under 50 with family and close friends). I included my college friend’s SO on the invite, b/c they’ve all been together for over a year. But, I also knew chances were pretty much nil that any of them would travel to the wedding.
Well one just asked since her SO can’t come, can her in-state friend come instead? Well…i’ve met him before so he’s not a complete stranger, but he’s kind the weird/greasy guy… While I don’t hate him, I def never pictured having him there, plus hate to add people I don’t HAVE to have due to expense.
BUT, she’s traveling from out of state, won’t get to see her friend unless she invites him, and I have a feeling this will make her less ‘needy’ the week of, when I really won’t have time to drive her around and spend any solo time with her. What would you guys do? (BTW she was completely nice about asking, saying she wouldnt’ mention it to him until she heard from me, and if expenses would prefer he didn’t, she understood.)
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’d say no. This happened with one of our guests–she asked if she could bring her boyfriend (we said yes, since we didn’t know that he existed/was that serious before then ;), and then when something came up and he couldn’t make it, she asked if she could bring a local friend instead. We had to say no to that–Mr. S knows the friend, but there are a lot of people we left off the guest list that would have come before her!
Post # 4
She is already putting in the effort and expense to come to your wedding from out of state. If she knows no one at the wedding than yes but, if she has other friends there than no.
Post # 5
I know you weren’t expecting him, but because of the way she handled asking you, I would def say yes to her.
Post # 6
Unless you REALLY REALLY hate him and she knows a lot of other people at the party, I would let her. In my opinion, the point of a plus one is to make sure someone who doesn’t know a lot of people at the wedding feels comfortable and has fun. So, it’s not about the “plus 1” but about your friend and what makes her happy.
Post # 7
In a situation like this, to me, it comes down to cost. If not having him means you get to add an extra cool bit to your wedding I say tell her no. But if having him doesn’t really make a difference cost-wise, why not? Also, if your friend wouldn’t have anyone to hang out with but him, I would allow it. I am having a small wedding too, 50 people, and I don’t know my close friend’s girlfriend very well but I’m giving him a plus one because he’d have no one to talk to he’d just be sitting there alone the whole time! Hope everything works out OK 😀
Post # 8
She does know others at the wedding (2-3 other friends from our college group). But I’m leaning towards yes, just so she will have someone to hang out with for sure that week while she’s in town so I won’t feel guilty not being able to hang out with her all the time. The cost is – i’ve just been trying to watch the budget as much as possible and each person adds ~100 bucks…and of course there’s others I’d pick before him to come, but it might be worth it b/c she’s making a big effort to come into town.
Post # 9
Sorry to intrude on your post, but what would you do if the friend lived near the wedding and RSVP’d for a 3rd person, when only 2 seats were saved for said friend? Friend knows 10 adult guests (plus kids) very well.
Post # 10
@Remi, I would call them and explain that you’re sorry, there just isn’t space at the reception for guests to bring their own random guests (who does this? how rude). ‘Space’ is such a good thing to blame it on since it’s not easily defined and yet can’t be changed.
Post # 11
I think it’s very strange that she wants to bring someone else, but you did have a seat reserved for her and her boyfriend so it doesn’t change your numbers any. If she was bringing someone totally random, I’d say no anyway, but like you said, there are some good reasons for her and for you if she has someone to hang out with.
Post # 12
I agree with poster stating it all relates to costs, can you afford an extra random person without it costing you something dear in the wedding; if not then go ahead, otherwise you are not obligated, no matter how nice she asked or how far she’s traveling…I get really irritates by people making “demands” of the bride and groom as if the day is about them…..if it’s such an inconvenience for the guest to come without the +1, then decline….afterall I thought the wedding was about the bride/groom and guests being honored to witness their union
Post # 13
Ordinarily, I would say let her, since you had already reserved the two seats for her and her SO. However, in this case, since your wedding is on the small side, I would say no. There’s probably other people you would rather have at your wedding, and since it sounds like she knows other people, I’m sure she will be fine.
Post # 14
I have mixed feelings on this because I get where you are coming from, but you invited this girl WITH A GUEST, and I don’t feel like you get to dictate who that guest is. We have a couple of friends who because they are traveling we gave a plus one to and they are bringing total strangers to our wedding. I’m not going to worry about it because I’m going to be so busy that how much time am I really going to spend with them? Atleast I know my guests will be happy and comfortable while I’m busy being a bride.
Post # 15
If you invited her with a guest, she gets a guest. Even if that guest was supposed to be her boyfriend…
Post # 16
Hmm.. I think you can go either way. You specifically invited her Boyfriend or Best Friend and he can’t come, and guests who RSVP ‘no’ aren’t just allowed to forward teh invitation along to someone else, that’s not how it works. But your friend is traveling from out of town and I’m assuming doesn’t know anyone, so it would be a nice gesture on your end to let her. Plus, she asked really nicely and isn’t being pushy. So either decision you make is totally justified. If I were you, I would let her.