(Closed) Guests that DONT attend the ceramony but Attend the reception

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would be annoyed if people did this I find it rude as the ceremony is the importabt part of the day

Post # 64
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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jmtwxoxo:  Yes, I am serious!  Last summer, we were invited to a wedding– ceremony at 2, reception start at 5.  We couldn’t attend both.  My dad lives with us– he has ALS, so i have to make arrangements for someone to be here with him if I’m gone.  I simply don’t have the luxury of taking off for the entire day.  Most people know that.  I would be irritated if the bride held a grudge against me for that.  If someone had so much disdain for me that I couldn’t make the ceremony, then that’s on them.  Why would they want to keep my gift?  

 

I understand why some people get miffed when guests cannot attend both ceremony and reception, but most of the time it’s due to prior obligations.  I have never skipped a wedding ceremony for a flippant reason.  

Post # 65
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee

I guess you can do something like what’s done for celebrity weddings, where everyone meets at a certain place and gets shuttled to a secret site.

1. In the invitation envelope, say the reception venue has yet to be determined. (This goes beyond fibbing, though).

2. When people are leaving the ceremony, hand them cards with the name, time, address, and directions to the reception venue. They’re essentially tickets and no one will be admitted without them.

Now, which sounds ruder? The above scenario or people who are critical because a guest can’t commit 8 hours of their busy work/family lives, to attend all of your special day.

Post # 66
Member
9834 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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JaneyDcat:  I think in your situation it is understandable to not attend both, one of those circumstances that would be understood and definitely not considered rude to only attend one of the ceremony or reception!

Post # 67
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Beegritte:  “if it’s an inconvenience to them, I’d prefer they didn’t come at all.” — But YOU made it an inconvenience. So you invite them to a pain in the ass wedding, then say “well don’t come then if it’s a pain in the ass.” How about you don’t plan a pain in the ass wedding? Wouldn’t that be better?

Of course we’ve taken our guests comfort into account when planning so there shouldn’t be anything too awful they can’t survive through” — Yeah, that’s what you want your guests saying at the end of the night: “Well, that was pretty awful, but not TOO too awful. I mean, we’re still alive, so there’s that.”

Post # 68
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Apparently this is the norm in DH’s circle- the ceremony is only for family. Not the case with my friends but no one seemed to have a problem with that.

The phrase I had heard from many people was the ceremony is for the bride and groom, the reception is for the guests… I’d rather have my guests at the party where they can enjoy themselves and I can visit with them! I had a few that did this at our wedding and I wasn’t butthurt about it!

Post # 69
Member
6385 posts
Bee Keeper

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jmtwxoxo:  I think it’s unbelievably rude, with no exceptions. 

Post # 70
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee

Im a culprit of attending only the receptions – 

its not an excuse but I get very emotional at the ceremonies and ball my eyes out, no matter who it is. Why is this? 

Post # 71
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
jmtwxoxo:  if the ceremony is in the same place as the reception, then yes, it’s somewhat rude. but even so, i imagine that on my wedding day i will be more caught up in marrying the man of my dreams then keeping track of who skipped the ceremony. seriously. 

& if the ceremony is a church thing, all bets are off. I am happy to celebrate your wedding and give a gift and all that, but please don’t expect me or any other guests to sit through a whole Church ceremony ESPECIALLY if it’s not even my faith. 

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