(Closed) Guests under the impression they are allowed to bring a plus one

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If they’re younger, it’s possible that they don’t know better. A lot of our weird guest faux pas tended to be from our younger guests. To be honest, I would just be candid and tell them that unfortunately, you are unable to accomodate the extra guests and leave it at that. DO NOT say it’s because of money or space. Just leave it as simple as possible.

Post # 4
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@soccergal7898:  Only those married, engaged, cohabitating and in long-term relationships are invited as couples. Most singles are given a date if the budget allows for it.

If you do not have the room or money, just call them and tell them that the invite was adressed to them alone and you are sorry but you can’t accomidate their personal guest.

Post # 5
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Probably an honest mistake given age. Just tell him you’re sorry but you can’t accomodate a guest for him. Was it possible when he said “we” he was referring to other singles being invited? I know my ex’s single friends used to all shack up 5-6 in a hotel room every time there was a wedding!  Not my style, but it’s possible…

Post # 7
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@soccergal7898:  He probably thinks she’s invited. I’d clear it up ASAP, and be prepared for backlash when you see her again. Good luck.

Post # 8
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It’s kind of rude to not invite him with his girlfriend if they have been dating for that long.  I guess you just have to be okay with him potentially not attending your wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@soccergal7898:  A year long relationship is a decent amount of time IMO. Do they live together? Do you guys live close to him? What I’m getting at is, is there a reason you have only met her a few times(ie distance etc)? I would also consider how serious he is about her. If you are good friends with this guy and hes serious about his gf and you dont invite her, it’s kind of a slap in the face to him…. Also is anyone else in a similar situation, like a year long relationship(regardless of how often youve met them) and they’re invited?

I dont know the whole story here, just giving you somethings to keep in mind. 

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If they’ve been dating for that long I think she should be invited

Post # 11
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

In my opinion a year long relationship warrants a +1, but I tend to think not allowing guests to bring a +1 is kind of rude and unfortunately my guest list reflects that haha. I know it’s the norm but that’s just my opinion.

Post # 12
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

if they have been together for that long of a time and you know about her then its afe to assume that he thought the invite was for both of them as it is generally considered a long term relationship once you get to around the year mark. you can call him and clarify that the invite was for him only but be prepared for it to not be recieved well

Post # 13
Member
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

From an etiquette perspective, you have no social obligation to invite the SO of any guest unless that guest is part of a couple that is married, engaged, or living together, regardless of how long a couple may have been dating or how serious the couple may be.

Since you strongly suspect that this friend is planning to bring his Girlfriend to your wedding even though she has not been invited, I would suggest that you proactively convey this information to him in the most direct but polite manner possible.  I would simply say something along the lines of, “I am sorry that we were unable to extend an invitation to __________. Unfortunately, we just would not be able to accommodate allowing everyone to bring a date. I hope you understand.”

Post # 15
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry, I also agree if they’ve been dating for a year she should be invited. I completely understand wanting to keep the guest list down, but you have to think about how you would feel if you were in the same situation. What if your soon to be hubby was invited to a wedding and you weren’t? I assume kind of rejected.

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