(Closed) Guests want to stay in our house/camp in yard on wedding night

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think it’s right for you two to be pushed out of your own home on your wedding night, if that’s where you want to spend it.  I think its unreasonable for people to expect you to open your home to them on such a special night.  I would think just about anyone would understand this?

I too live out in the country, where the closest town in 20-30 minutes away.  Our weddings are usually about that distance away and have open bars, and we always expect to drive home that night.  This involves planning for it and being responsible, like you said.  I don’t think it is unreasonable for you to expect your guests to be responsible and either cut down their drinking or find a DD.  Unless it is customary in your family/region to provide transportation or allow people to spend the night?  It definitely is not customary where I am from, I’ve never heard of transportation being provided after a wedding.

Your friends/family should understand that a wedding is significantly different than a regular party you’d throw at your house.  If you want to allow them to camp in your yard, then that’s your choice, and I think it is a genrous one.  If you decide to do that, I agree with a PP and think you should have a trusted friend/family member in charge, so you don’t have to worry about that part too much.  And don’t provide enough alcohol to let them party all night, since that’s not what you yourselves want to do (and you’re worried about this part).  Once the reception is over, turn off most of the lights, close the bar, have a friend in charge to make sure the partying is kept at a minimum, and enjoy your wedding night together – alone!

Post # 48
Member
496 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
sarah74:  That sounds like a good plan!  Well, I personally think if camping isn’t their thing then they should plan to go home, stay in a hotel, or have a DD.  It doesn’t sound like any of them are flying in or spending a huge amount of money to get to your wedding, so hopefully paying for one of these options (or just being responsible and driving themselvese home) wouldn’t be too expensive.

A shuttle bus would be a very nice thing to provide for your guests!  Though I don’t think it should be expected, if that’s not the norm for your family.  Byut if you can afford it that option could definitely eliminate some headaches for you, and I’m sure your guests would really appreciate it as well.

Post # 49
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
sarah74:  Umm no way, I wouldn’t want people camping/staying over on my wedding night!  I’d look into shuttle prices.

Post # 50
Member
13942 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You are a far more tolerant  woman than I am if you allow these people to camp out in your house on your wedding night.   Did you have a chance to  look up the social host laws in  your state?  

Post # 51
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

sarah74:  You are right, it is not your responsiblity to offer transporation or accomidation to your guests, even if you are in a rural area.  Where I’m from could be where you are describing.  A shuttle bus is really not conveient, because even the people who live 20 minutes away live 20 minutes away, but 30 minutes away from the other person who lives 20 minutes away.  There is no area where I could drop off most of my guests and expect them to get home. 

I always find it funny that adults that we expect can go to a bar, or go to a party, on their own with no special arangement can’t be expected to do the same because we throw the word “Wedding” as a description on the event. 

Post # 52
Member
2769 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My work just finished throwing a big festival where we had shuttles going for about eight hours in a loop between five towns… It cost $500 per shuttle. It could be cheaper than you think!

Post # 53
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
marierenee:  Those are very different rural weddings than the ones I’ve attended in my hometown and elsewhere.  Sure, if it’s at a house, it’s more relaxed, but it’s no more a drunken beer-fest than anything at a swanky reception hall in the moderate-sized city.

I’m actually vaguely surprised on the cab service given the rural location.  The only cabs you can get back home run during the day, and you have to call the day before to set-up a time.  That’s honestly why I was so surprised at everyone suggesting a shuttle.  They’re so ridiculously uncommon, it would be weird to see one even offered.

Post # 54
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
Misswhowedding:  “I always find it funny that adults that we expect can go to a bar, or go to a party, on their own with no special arangement can’t be expected to do the same because we throw the word “Wedding” as a description on the event.”

+1, this.

If so many people are going to want to get into a drunken stupor at my wedding without plans for a ride home, I’d question their adult status and whether it would be a good idea to serve alcohol at all.

 

(Edited for formatting. Hopefully it’s fixed.)

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by .
Post # 55
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
sarah74:  There is no reason they should be staying over. You could rent a van and have a designated driver friend or hire a shuttle/driver to go back and forth before and after the celebrations.

If you do decide to let them stay in your yard – I highly suggest looking into renting a port-a-potty as you don’t want them intruding into your home. Since there will be drinking and if you let them stay so they can drink as much as you want… you may still not have that private of a night. Outside might be loud, and some people may end up bothering you if they get trashed and want to ‘come say hello’ or something like that.

Post # 56
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
sarah74:  umm no. You definitely are not obligated. Is there a hotel near you you can recommend? I feel like that’s very inconsiderate for people to ask. We aren’t even allowing anyone to stay in our apartment (it’s very small) before or after the wedding!

Post # 57
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No who even asks that?! Try to hire a shuttle or limo–even though I don’t think you should necessarily get stuck paying that bill since you aren’t necessarily hosting a destination wedding! Can’t they hire a taxi?

Post # 58
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
marierenee:  Not exactly true… all she has to do is get a liquor license with the proper liability insurance (its a policy you can buy for events). I know several people who have done it for weddings and events where they were providing the alcohol. We actually had to get covered ourselves as even though our wedding was in a hotel and they were serving….WE bought and paid for the alcohol and brought it in…. meaning it was our responsibility etc etc… Luckily the hotel already had papers in place for this as they dealt with it all the time…..but all it takes is calling the insurance company and getting a special “one time event coverage” or something I cant remember what its called. Either way people can do whatever they want and get into whatever trouble and it aint your problem!

And yes… grown adults are responsible for making their own arrangements home. When DH and I go out we always have to drive 20 minutes at least to get somewhere in this city and usually one of us is DD. If both of us want to drink then we pay for a cab….. if someone is going to drink for free all night at a wedding Im sure they can afford a cab……if not then stay sober and drive your arse home lol.

Post # 59
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

wow that seems pretty rude! i’d try to find them some hotels and encourage them to book a room

Post # 60
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Let them all stay…in the yard…lock up your house…and you & your new husband go head for a hotel!

The topic ‘Guests want to stay in our house/camp in yard on wedding night’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors