Post # 1
One of our ushers just text me ask the colour tie he would be wearing at our wedding, as his girlfriend wants to match her dress to it. I completely understand wanting to match your partner, but don’t understand how they don’t realise this will be the colour the bridesmaids are wearing. I don’t know how I feel about it, but i think I would prefer her not to wear the same colour as the bridesmaids. I really want the wedding party to stand out. We did out invitations in our theme colour of claret, so thought people would realise this was our colour theme. I wouldnt probably wear this colour dress to someone elses wedding as it is quite bold. This girlfriend is someone I have only met once. Just wondered what other people think? Should I just say its fine for her to wear that colour or should I ask her to wear something else as she hasn’t bought anything yet?
Post # 3
You cannot tell guests what to wear. If she wears that, she’s going to look silly, but there’s nothing you can do about it without sounding like a ‘zilla. You can either give your BMs special floral belts or sashes, or get them matching hairstyles so that they will obviously be a cohesive unit….or you can just make the best of it, because honestly, I imagine no one will notice.
Post # 4
I shown up to weddings wearing the same color bridal party. No one noticed or cared and no mistakened me for a member of the bridal party. I think that it is controlling to tell your guest what colors to wear. I also suspect no one really cares what the bridal party is wearing other then you. People tend to focus their attention on the couple and family rather the bridal party. Let it go.
Post # 5
Honestyly, I think you will sound really petty if you ask her not to wear the color. Your bridal party will definitely stand out as a bridal party regardless if others wear the same color. My girls were in long, black dresses, which I think is a pretty standard color dress to wear, and it was very obvious who was a bridesmaid. 🙂 Don’t sweat it.
Post # 6
You cannot dictate how adults dress themselves. If you were having a colored “theme” it would be one thing to request guests wear particular colors, but even then you still cannot tell them what they cannot wear.
On your wedding day, you probably won’t notice what anybody is wearing. Is a single person’s outfit that big of a deal?
Post # 7
It won’t be an issue. Don’t worry about it. She’s not going to be in the same dress and the shade will probably be slightly different.
Post # 8
You can’t tell her that she can’t wear a specific color. No one is even going to notice what she’s wearing. What about other guests that don’t know you colored “theme”, anyone could show up wearing “claret”.
Post # 9
I had a reader who wore the same color as the bridesmaids. I didn’t know about it until the day before. I thought it was a little weird, but it was fine. No one commented on it or anything.
Post # 10
At my wedding a friend ran up to me, apologizing profusely for wearing the same color as my bridesmaids. I was so confused by her apology – I had never heard of this issue! I can assure you that no one thought she was in the bridal party just because of the color she was wearing – she wasn’t up there with me at the altar, didn’t have a matching dress and flowers with other women, wasn’t in the pictures, didn’t give a speech at the reception, etc, etc. I think it will be fine – no worries!
Post # 11
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
She won’t be wearing the same dress, probably not even the same shade.
She won’t be standing up with you guys at the alter.
You will be too busy to notice and no one else will care.
Of all the problems, you can let this one slide, as PPs have said adults can dress themselves.
Post # 12
@castlebride: my first thought is how “prom” that is of her wanting to match like that. I say give a general “blue” and leave it at that. Nothing to stress over, tho.
Post # 13
Sorry but you can’t tell her what not to wear. No one besides the bride really notices things like this so I wouldn’t give it any thought. My girls wore navy dresses and coincidentally we had a lot of wedding guests also wear navy and dark blue. It made absolutely no difference. It shouldn’t even be on your radar of things to worry about.
Post # 15
No, you cannot ask her to wear a different color. I can’t tell you how many people showed up in pinks and browns to my wedding because they wanted to compliment my wedding. They thought I would like it.
Honestly, I didn’t even notice until they pointed out what they were wearing and I didn’t care.
Post # 16
Nobody cares if a guest wears the same color as a bridesmaid. Don’t waste energy worrying about something that doesn’t matter.