(Closed) Guests wearing white to a wedding?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

i don’t really care who wears white or a veil or whatever – cause honestly everyone KNOWs whose wedding they are attending.  that and we have nudists at my wedding (who promised to wear clothes) who may attract more attention than any WHITE wearing hullabahoo.  don’t sweat it girl – it is totally your day and no one will pay attention to the clueless wench wearing white.  lol!

Post # 18
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

It’s my day.. I plan to be the only one in white

I think its very well known now a days that wearing a soilid white dress (floral patterns are one thing) is not accepted.

But.. if someone shows up in white what can you do? Tell them to leave or change.. I think that would probably be a bit much. 

Post # 19
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i dont really care if anyone shows up wearing white to mine..  it’s not like people are going to think she’s the bride…

 

Post # 20
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

In fact my FI’s sister is the most likely person to wear white.  I think all her nice clothes are either white or black, so there you are.  I don’t think her dress color will bother me half as much as her personality – but we concluded long ago that (like most folks with bad manners) she only makes herself look bad.

If I was just wearing a little white dress it might be an issue – but I’m pretty sure that I’ll look sufficiently bridal that nobody will be confused.

Post # 21
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks

At a friend’s wedding that I went to, a guest wore a satin brocade corset with a long satin skirt.  ALL WHITE.  It seriously could have been a wedding gown.  I’m pretty sure my friend didn’t even notice, but oh my, were the other guests pointing and whispering. 

But I agree, if it’s a casual sundress or has a colored pattern or whatever on it, I certainly don’t care.  One of my bridesmaids wore a white sweater and a white hijab (Muslim headscarf) over her blue bridesmaid dress and I just thought she looked extra pretty. ๐Ÿ™‚  I think as long as it doesn’t look really bridal, no one cares.

Post # 22
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

I’ll probably laugh if a guest wears white to my wedding. It’s just thoughtless! But it is harmless.

And, being bothered by someone wearing black to a wedding? (I’m really hoping the poster was joking about asking guests to not wear black, but I’m not sure) It’s also harmless, and probably 50% of the women will be in "the little black dress". Not worth stressing over!

And seriously? If I got an email or phone call or whatever asking me to not wear black to a wedding, well. I wouldn’t know what to say. Bridezilla would probably flash through my mind!

Post # 23
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

As long as my guests are clothed and remain clothed for the whole party, I’m happy.  A white toga might be a little too "Animal House" for a wedding, but pretty much anything else goes.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

(A toga-party wedding would be pretty sweet though….why didn’t I think of this sooner?  I could have saved a TON of money on a dress ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 24
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I, personally, think this rule is outdated.  As many people have said above, as long as the dress is not a "wedding-style" dress, there should be no mistaking who the bride is.  I would be more annoyed at those who show up wearing other types of inappropriate clothing (ie. too risque, too casual, etc.)

 

 

Post # 25
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I know there was a huge outlash about this on darcy from martha stewarts blog. check it out  i just think it is really tactless to wear white at someones wedding. But what i didnt realize is the pictures. Check out darcy’s blog… it was hard for me to tell who was the Bride, since i didnt know what she looked like…. just me though

Post # 26
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Hmmmm.  Her dress looks like a sack.  In any color, it would look like a sack.  However the bride’s dress is pretty casual looking too – although less sack-like.

Post # 27
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

I know better than to wear white to a wedding because even if the bride doesn’t care I’m sure someone will be whispering about it somewhere, but what’s the deal with not wearing black? I thought that would be totally acceptable? I’ve totally missed the boat on that one…I think I’ve worn black to the last 2 weddings I’ve been to.

Post # 29
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

msbutton – I think you can totally wear black for a formal, evening wedding and reception (think little black dress).  At say, 11:00 in the morning, in April, not so much.  And it also depends on the mood of the black – again, little black dress vs funereal drapey Stevie Nicks thing. 

Post # 30
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think it’s such a big deal to wear white to a wedding. In my culture, we just don’t want people to wear all black to wedding because it’s a wedding and not funeral. The not to wear white to wedding is pretty much the American thing, other cultures may not be aware that they shouldn’t wear white.

For me as long as they look awesome going to my wedding, I will be happy. Beautiful ppeople makes my wedding more beautiful that’s what I think. I want them to dress their best. It doesn’t really matter if people wear pretty or ugly, they get checked out by everyone at the party.

Post # 31
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2011

At the end of the day its the bride and grooms day, so ask them! (Both!) 

If you don’t want to ask them then maybe that means in your heart of hearts you know that this particular couple wouldn’t be too happy about it.

If you’re a bride or groom and don’t know how to ask the guests to dress according to traditional western ettiquette here is a poem that I wish I had used (Guests turned up in white dresses similar to my bridesmaids)

 

Please dress with care and thoughtfulness on our wedding day,

And feel free to spruce yourselves right up in your own special way,

Look at the world around you, full of coulours warm and bright,

Wear any of them that you so choose, just not black, ivory or white!

We apologise if this request is just too much to ask,

But finding other colours should be a simple task!

Black is for a funeral, white, ivory the bride,

So take that world of colour and bring it to our sides!

 

Thank you

Love Groom and Bride ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

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