(Closed) Guests wearing white to your wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

Like you said Penguin… I would have been offended if I think someone wore white to be intentionally rude. How someone doesn’t think about their color choice boggles my mind slightly.

I didn’t have anyone wear white, though my mother-in-law asked me if she could wear a black pantsuit to the wedding. This upset me and I was able to get her to switch to a jewel tone dress that she looked great in.

Also, I had a family member and their significant other show up in jeans. And that was after they missed the entire ceremony. Said family member also wore jeans to her brother’s wedding 2 years ago because in her words "she never liked the girl he was marrying".

People are strange.

Post # 4
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Honestly – I would feel more embarrased for, rather than mad at, the person wearing white. I’m sure more people than just your mom looked at her and thought – why on earth would she wear white to someone’s wedding. It makes them look either totally clueless or desperate for attention.

Post # 5
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I wore white to my friends’ wedding!

I didn’t know the ettiquette at the time, and I own ZERO outfits that are appropriate for a wedding.  My (then boyfriend now FI) took me to White House Black Market to try on "fancy" dresses for the occassion.  I picked out a white chiffon short dress with  black detailing on the skirt.  I felt proud that I found something classy to wear (and I bought my first pair of heels that day as I recall).  When I got to the reception the girl next to me said "you know you shouldn’t wear white to a wedding, right?"  I was SO EMBARASSED!!  I hadn’t heard of that before, and I had been so proud just to be in a dress.  My friend (the Bride) said she didn’t mind and that I looked great (she knew I didn’t wear dresses…)

Give your guests the benefit of the doubt, maybe they don’t know!

Post # 6
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - Auberge du Soleil

A relative at our wedding wore an off-white dress to our wedding. She is kinda crazy though so I expected it (she did it to Mr. PN’s brother earlier in the year)…

Post # 7
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m kind of mixed on the whole "don’t wear white to a wedding" thing.  I understand it, but I think, like in MightySapphire’s case, it wasn’t a case of intentionally wearing white to upstage the bride/take away from the bride/whatever.  The dress wasn’t plain white, and there was no way that she was going to be mistaken for the bride.  I think there’s a big grey area as to "how much white is too white to wear to a wedding."

In all honesty (and this is just my personal opinion), I think the idea is kind of like not wearing white shoes after Labor Day–some people still abide by it, but I think it’s something that we’re going to see fade away.  

Post # 8
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2000

Even though my dress was pale blue and it was a intimate-mini-wedding I felt reeeaaaally unconfortable when my Mother-In-Law was wearing a white skirt suit, what was she trying to say??? in all the photos she looked like if she was the bride!!! I hated it!!!  I kept thinking she might be in competition with me for our whole lives.  But now 8 years later I’ve noticed that she is a real good woman and treat me like a daughter and that she goes to every wedding wearing white (exept for her dauther wedding).

Post # 9
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I didn’t really notice what my guests were wearing.  I don’t remember any white, but if anyone did wear white I wouldn’t care anyway.  And besides, my dress was ivory and I was OBVIOUSLY the bride.  I think that the not wearing white business is just plain silly.  The guests should wear whatever they like!  As long as they aren’t totally crazy, they’ll wear something appropriate, but I highly doubt anyone would wear a wedding dress to a wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I had no idea this was an etiquette flaw until I came on these boards!  I totally could have been that clueless guest, luckily I am not into white dresses so I don’t think I have ever done that.  I also have no idea if anyone wore white to my wedding though, because it just didn’t matter that day!

Post # 11
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it’s TOTALLY tacky when you know better.  If you truly were clueless than what are ya going to do?   If you DO know about the cutsom of opting out of white I think you have about 92356 bazillion other cute choices out there and white should be the absolute last one on your list.

Post # 12
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Yeah — I think it’s really tacky to wear white to a wedding.  I had two girls that wore white dresses with black detailing/prints to mine.  It didn’t really make me angry, but I just thought it made them look bad. 

Post # 13
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree there are so many other options out there for colors, do you really have to pick white? Right now we are trying to pick a dress for his sister and it is proving to be a little difficult. The first dress she picked made me laugh out loud! It was a black mini-dress with a slit up the side and backless to the point of a little crack peeking through. If it was that dress or a white one I would rather have her pick white!

Post # 14
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

I do think it’s kind of rude. 

For my sister’s wedding, my aunts actually called me to make sure they weren’t stepping on my mother or the bridal party’s toes when picking their outfit colors.  It’s just going that extra step to show you care about the couple, and want their day to be as close to the vision they planned for so long as they do!

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana

As long as they don’t wear a long, pure white dress that looks bride-y, I think it’s fine. The thought didn’t even enter my mind on my own wedding day – there was so much going on, I don’t know if I even noticed what my guests were wearing.

Post # 16
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

My future Mother-In-Law keeps saying that she wants to wear ivory and my dress is ivory (which I told her), but my philosophy is that she is the one that is going to be embarressed by wearing the same color as me.

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