Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I had several guests wear white to our wedding. It wasn’t a huge deal because my family is from Thailand, and in Thailand, it’s normal for guest to wear white (their "no no" color is black, which represents mourning (of course)). Anyway, there was an engaged gal (now wife of Mr. Peng’s coworker) that wore white and my mom asked me if she was here for our wedding, or just a guest of the winery. Even my foreign mom knew it was weird for American guests to wear white to weddings.
We can be honest here: How do you really feel about guests wearing white at your wedding? I guess sometimes I think if it’s intentional, its kind of rude. I mean, the girl that wore white to ours was set to be married in about 6 months after ours; I’m pretty sure she was aware of the etiquette.
Would you care/did you care if girls wore white dresses to your wedding?
Post # 3
Like you said Penguin… I would have been offended if I think someone wore white to be intentionally rude. How someone doesn’t think about their color choice boggles my mind slightly.
I didn’t have anyone wear white, though my mother-in-law asked me if she could wear a black pantsuit to the wedding. This upset me and I was able to get her to switch to a jewel tone dress that she looked great in.
Also, I had a family member and their significant other show up in jeans. And that was after they missed the entire ceremony. Said family member also wore jeans to her brother’s wedding 2 years ago because in her words "she never liked the girl he was marrying".
People are strange.
Post # 4
Honestly – I would feel more embarrased for, rather than mad at, the person wearing white. I’m sure more people than just your mom looked at her and thought – why on earth would she wear white to someone’s wedding. It makes them look either totally clueless or desperate for attention.
Post # 5
I wore white to my friends’ wedding!
I didn’t know the ettiquette at the time, and I own ZERO outfits that are appropriate for a wedding. My (then boyfriend now FI) took me to White House Black Market to try on "fancy" dresses for the occassion. I picked out a white chiffon short dress with black detailing on the skirt. I felt proud that I found something classy to wear (and I bought my first pair of heels that day as I recall). When I got to the reception the girl next to me said "you know you shouldn’t wear white to a wedding, right?" I was SO EMBARASSED!! I hadn’t heard of that before, and I had been so proud just to be in a dress. My friend (the Bride) said she didn’t mind and that I looked great (she knew I didn’t wear dresses…)
Give your guests the benefit of the doubt, maybe they don’t know!
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2018 - Auberge du Soleil
A relative at our wedding wore an off-white dress to our wedding. She is kinda crazy though so I expected it (she did it to Mr. PN’s brother earlier in the year)…
Post # 7
I’m kind of mixed on the whole "don’t wear white to a wedding" thing. I understand it, but I think, like in MightySapphire’s case, it wasn’t a case of intentionally wearing white to upstage the bride/take away from the bride/whatever. The dress wasn’t plain white, and there was no way that she was going to be mistaken for the bride. I think there’s a big grey area as to "how much white is too white to wear to a wedding."
In all honesty (and this is just my personal opinion), I think the idea is kind of like not wearing white shoes after Labor Day–some people still abide by it, but I think it’s something that we’re going to see fade away.
Post # 8
Even though my dress was pale blue and it was a intimate-mini-wedding I felt reeeaaaally unconfortable when my Mother-In-Law was wearing a white skirt suit, what was she trying to say??? in all the photos she looked like if she was the bride!!! I hated it!!! I kept thinking she might be in competition with me for our whole lives. But now 8 years later I’ve noticed that she is a real good woman and treat me like a daughter and that she goes to every wedding wearing white (exept for her dauther wedding).
Post # 9
I didn’t really notice what my guests were wearing. I don’t remember any white, but if anyone did wear white I wouldn’t care anyway. And besides, my dress was ivory and I was OBVIOUSLY the bride. I think that the not wearing white business is just plain silly. The guests should wear whatever they like! As long as they aren’t totally crazy, they’ll wear something appropriate, but I highly doubt anyone would wear a wedding dress to a wedding.
Post # 10
I had no idea this was an etiquette flaw until I came on these boards! I totally could have been that clueless guest, luckily I am not into white dresses so I don’t think I have ever done that. I also have no idea if anyone wore white to my wedding though, because it just didn’t matter that day!
Post # 11
I think it’s TOTALLY tacky when you know better. If you truly were clueless than what are ya going to do? If you DO know about the cutsom of opting out of white I think you have about 92356 bazillion other cute choices out there and white should be the absolute last one on your list.
Post # 12
Yeah — I think it’s really tacky to wear white to a wedding. I had two girls that wore white dresses with black detailing/prints to mine. It didn’t really make me angry, but I just thought it made them look bad.
Post # 13
I agree there are so many other options out there for colors, do you really have to pick white? Right now we are trying to pick a dress for his sister and it is proving to be a little difficult. The first dress she picked made me laugh out loud! It was a black mini-dress with a slit up the side and backless to the point of a little crack peeking through. If it was that dress or a white one I would rather have her pick white!
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
I do think it’s kind of rude.
For my sister’s wedding, my aunts actually called me to make sure they weren’t stepping on my mother or the bridal party’s toes when picking their outfit colors. It’s just going that extra step to show you care about the couple, and want their day to be as close to the vision they planned for so long as they do!
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2018 - Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana
As long as they don’t wear a long, pure white dress that looks bride-y, I think it’s fine. The thought didn’t even enter my mind on my own wedding day – there was so much going on, I don’t know if I even noticed what my guests were wearing.
Post # 16
My future Mother-In-Law keeps saying that she wants to wear ivory and my dress is ivory (which I told her), but my philosophy is that she is the one that is going to be embarressed by wearing the same color as me.