Post # 1
Our engagement party invitations clearly stated semi-formal attire. I can understand not being comfortable wearing a dress and showing up in slacks and a fancy top, but some family from my fiance’s side showed up wearing JEANS and HOODIES. I know there’s a sort of spectrum that fits into “semi formal”, but all other guests were wearing cocktail attire.
The guests in question range from age 12-25. I don’t mean to be overly harsh to children, but I would have known to not show up in jeans at that age. Not to mention their parents should have been laying down the law.
I feel like it was sort of rude and like they didn’t respect my fiance and I or the occassion enough to put a little effort in. If you don’t feel that the occassion is that important, why show up at all? I am now very worried about what they will think is appropriate for the wedding day (it will be black tie) but I can’t really go father than stating dress code on the invitations..
I keep flipping back and forth between “yes these guests were rude” to “I’m being rediculous”..thoughts?
Post # 3
Maybe they don’t have nice clothes or couldn’t afford nice clothes?
I can honestly say I don’t have anything nice in my closet.. because I simply just don’t dress “formal”. It’s not even about money for me, I don’t think I look right in formal clothing, as I look very young. I do have alot of nice sweaters and jeans, but that’s about as close to formal as I get. [I’m also 25, by the way].
Post # 4
@kapalua67: I don’t know if the teens were being rude they likely just didnt understand the nature of what it means to not follow the invites requests …. however their parents did
as for the people in their 20’s that was a bit rude… they know better … I meani can tell you i didnt kno semi formal well until i was older and had to go to work events in semi and formal wear so it was like ok mom whats ok and show her and my gran and my aunt 10 outfits lol to figure it out … so i def get the teens but ppl in their 20’s should have an idea or be aware enough to go hey mom help lol
I would if your worried bring it up to their parents nicely (if your close this shouldnt be a big deal at all) if your not have someoen who is bring it up nicely
Post # 5
Maybe they think their jeans and hoodies are nice? Maybe they actually don’t know any better? Maybe they’re not used to going to nice events? Maybe their parents didn’t want to fight with them over clothing?
I would let it go, it’s really not something to stress over. Who cares what other people wear?
Post # 6
let it go. it’s a big stretch to go from “they wore hoodies” to “they don’t respect me”
Post # 8
We had a semi-formal wedding and we had several guests show up in the kind of things that they wear on a daily basis, or slightly nicer to family events. I barely noticed.
This was your engagement party, though, not your wedding.
Post # 9
@kapalua67: I think it’s rude to imply or state on an event invitation what type of clothing your guests should wear. At the end of the day, people can and will wear what they want and it’s not important. They showed up, they supported you, so shouldn’t that be enough? As for your wedding, same goes. People will wear what they want, and at the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter. Having the people you care about with you on such a special occasion should.
Post # 10
I will never understand why people care in the least what others wear to their events! come on, this wasn’t even your wedding, it was just a party.
Post # 11
Um I’d rather someone I cared about show up to an e-party in jeans than not show up at all.
Post # 12
I will never ever understand this. They are the ones who look strange because they didn’t follow the “dress code” and I’m pretty sure you are taking it too far by thinking they were trying to disrespect you.
Post # 13
Honestly, etiquette wise, you were in the wrong for specifying a dress code.
Post # 14
@kapalua67: To answer your question – yes, you are being ridiculous.
Yeah, I guess it would’ve been nice if they followed dress code, but honestly, why does it matter? Can’t you focus on the fact that they came to celebrate YOUR engagement? I don’t know why you are associating their attire with how important they think your engagement is.
Post # 15
@kapalua67: semi-formal is treacherous because it is so ambiguous. And, technically, it means Black Tie in the evening and strollers during the day, with cocktail dresses and tea dresses, respectively. But most peopl don’t use it in that context, and in fact use it for dress codes for everything from smart casual to suits. I would shrug it off, but be clearer on your wedding invitations, to avoid the same situation (and you being unhappy) at your wedding. To avoid any ambiguity, ours said “Business Suits/Dresses” (we are in Vancouver, so people are extra clueless when it comes to clothing).
Anyway, I would not let it take up much real estate in your head. It’s over.
Post # 16
@kapalua67: I don’t think you’re in the wrong for specifying a dress code (wtf?), but this just reflects on them, not you. Someone showed up to my wedding in camo (hunting gear, not military or anything like that). It was embarrassing for my Bridesmaid or Best Man who was his fiancee, but honestly, it isn’t like anyone else truly cared or payed attention to it.