(Closed) Guests who give no gifts at wedding

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 16
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I’m from the U.S., still not concerned. Not about to keep track or monitor who gave what. People we care about cared enough to show up and celebrate. To us that = gift. Anything beyond that is a pleasant but unexpected surprise. Its not that serious to us. 

Post # 17
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Our guests will have transport and overnight costs to go to our wedding so won’t be bothered if people can’t or don’t want to pay to gifts for us.

Post # 18
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Normally I’d say it’s rude to show up empty-handed… but that’s because I include cards and notes as perfectly acceptable and welcome offerings (yes, even without gift cards in them). But since you put a minimum price limit on it? I think you’re being the rude one. There have been several time periods in my life in which the gas to get to an event would have taxed my budget to the limit, much less a “$10 gift up to $1000 gift card”. I think you should do some soul searching. Did you want those guest there for the joy of their company, or for the potential gifts they represented?

Post # 21
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I did not like getting no gift or anything from people who came to my wedding and complained at the wedding. If I really think about it, I seem to recall two other couples who have nothing, I think but not entirely sure. But since they weren’t assholes about attending my wedding, I can barely remember it 5 years later. But I probably will always remember cheap or no gifts from ignorant complainers. So for me it is not just the fact of not giving, it would have to be on top of some other behavior for it to stick with me. 

Post # 22
Member
29 posts
Newbee

View original reply
RosaBride :  See, that’s not so bad. Your original post came off in a much different tone.

Post # 23
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Growing up in a working class family monetary wedding gifts were never the norm for us. Instead, my mother would do the brides hair for free, or my grandmother would make the wedding cake. I was so shocked when I came on the bee and people would accuse me of making choices for my wedding based on being “gift-grabby”. Absolutely absurd. But back to my point, I didn’t keep a running total of whodid and who didn’t give gifts and I would never want someone to feel obligated to give me money or hold it against someone who was unable to. 

Post # 24
Member
3230 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m sure there were guests who didn’t give us a gift or card. I don’t care, I couldn’t tell you who gave what or nothing a year later unless it’s like our china or something because I remember who gifted physical items to us. I kept a list of gifts and senders to send a specific thank you note (which is the only polite thing to do), but I didn’t keep a second list of who didn’t. 

Post # 25
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

In my country, It would be considered extremely rude and tacky to go to a wedding and not give a gift

Post # 26
Member
1807 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We lived away from most family when we got married, so most family had to travel by car or plane, stay in a hotel at least 2 nights, and pay for other meals. I didn’t expect anything for gifts. The friends who lived in our city were all university students – we know they have no money! We were in university too – so it was a pretty cheap wedding. I was just thrilled they were all there to celebrate with us. Many of my older relatives are gone now – but I have beautiful photos of us together. 

Post # 27
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee

From what I’ve understood, guests have a couple of months after the wedding to send a gift (not a year, which is commonly thought). So people might be sending gifts weeks afterward!

Post # 28
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I invited about a dozen people from work, including my two bosses who make about a half million a year.  One of them didn’t even RSVP – I had to ask her after the deadline if she was coming.  The other one came and didn’t give a gift or card.  I found it extremely tacky.  Two others came and didn’t give gifts.  The wedding was local and my parents spent nearly $300 a plate. 

Post # 29
Member
319 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
RosaBride :  I realize you directed your Q at Hyperventilate, but since I did something similar, I thought I’d answer: It’s not terribly difficult to keep track of what people give you to make the thank yous, and also not keep track of what people didn’t give you. That’s what I did. I personally feel it’s more work to go through your entire guest list and put gift or not, and what it was, vs. writing down what was opened and who it was from as you go along opening the gifts and cards. Same as you would for a birthday, shower or any other gift occasion. 

Post # 30
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I won’t even notice. I honestly don’t care if I get any gifts. I’m not getting married or having a wedding for gifts. 

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