(Closed) Guests who RSVP yes but say they "hate weddings"

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: have any of your guests informed you that they "hate weddings"?
    Yes, how rude!! : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Yes, whatever, I don't care, I still want them there. : (9 votes)
    13 %
    No, how rude! : (33 votes)
    47 %
    No but I wouldn't care and would still want them there. : (24 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Uhm, that’s incredibly rude. At the point where your aunt said that she would have to drag them, I would have just said nevermind, we don’t want you and your negativity there. Weddings are a time to give love to the start of a new marriage, you don’t need their negativity surrounding your wedding. Sorry your family is being like that 🙁

    Post # 4
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    ye we had Darling Husband brothe say to a few ppl that he didnt want to come. i wish i had of heard before the weding as i didnt want him there. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    8361 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I honestly don’t think it was rude. She didn’t say he hates your wedding! She said he hates weddings in general. It could be that he hates performing at weddings because there is more pressure. It could be that he doesn’t believe in marriage (since you said they are common-law).

    I honestly don’t think this is as big a deal as you are making out of it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    It was a little tactless but IMO you’re overreacting. She said he doesn’t like weddings, not marriage.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7753 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The comment wasn’t unsolicited. It only came up because there was a conversation about him performing at weddings. Aunt could also be verbalising her frustration that he won’t marry.

    I would let it go.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty inconsiderate. Even if it did come up naturally, your aunt could have been a little more subdued with her response.  It sounds like you handled it pretty well though. Not sure why people think you’re overreacting? You’re clearly just venting. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think it’s unbelievably rude, and I am not easily offended. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think it was questionable for the aunt to air the dirty laundry in front of you. But I don’t think it’s rude to hate weddings. Some folks don’t like being in a big group of strangers or going to parties. It doesn’t mean they hate you, or don’t support your marriage. They just don’t like parties.

    Definitely let this one go.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I wouldn’t take it personally. It seems to me he was polite to you and turned down your request in a polite manner. While I don’t think your Aunt should have blurted that out, she was just giving an assement of what she thought his feelings are. It might not be true. If it is don’t take it personally, if they are being polite and plan on showing up and supporting you.

     I know several people who reveled that they too “hate” weddings, mostly because  don’t like dance, or don’t like crowds, all which are things a great deal of weddings have in common.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    In all honesty, I have to drag Darling Husband all sorts of places if there will be more than 8 people there, and the only reason I’ve not had to drag him to a wedding is because all the weddings we’ve been o have either been friends who he loves just as much as I do, or his sister. I’m sure sooner or later one of my friends that he doesn’t know well will marry, and I’ll have to do everything short of strapping him to a Hannibal Lechter stretcher to get him there. He’s just not comfortable in big groups of strangers. But I would never tell the bride that!

    As for him not going if he would feel miserable, my Darling Husband would never do that. #1 he knows how to suck it up and put on his happy face; the dragging would be over by the time we got in the car to go to the wedding, and #2 if someone cared enough to invite us, then he’d return the favor by showing up, and giving his best wishes in person.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    This wouldn’t bother me at all. Some people hate weddings. I’m sure some people hated the shoes I wore today… I couldn’t care less.

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