Post # 1
We’ve been talking to our parents about guest lists for the wedding, and it looks like a lot of people can’t make it for various reasons. My parents don’t have many friends or family as it is, and those friends they do have live in other countries. At the same time, FI’s mom has a huge family who all live in the city where we’re getting married. And she begged us to let us invite her friends. So right now the guest list is looking mostly like it’s going to be this group of people. I’ve met some of them – not everyone – and I like them fine, but it’s feeling less and less like my wedding and more like his family’s get-together. They’re Jewish and American; I’m Catholic and Ukrainian – it’s a whole different crowd. My parents have said that they’ll feel like strangers because they won’t know anyone. I know it’s no one’s fault that I don’t have a ton of people to invite from my side, but I am just so frustrated.
Anyone else in this situation? How do you make the wedding your own?
Post # 3
awww.. Sometimes it happens. Do you need a big wedding? maybe you wont notice the differance if its alot smaller.
it sucks to be in that spot, my Fiance is in the same boat really, but he seems to be really good about it. His family have made excuses already 7 months away from the wedding to say there not coming (religious differances apprently) so we will see. I said that we should go for a smaller wedding, but he wants a bigger wedding even tho its my familys side. At least some of his friends will be there.
Post # 4
That happeneed to me too! Don’t feel bad. Once you are married they will be your family too, and that’s how it felt at our wedding. Everyone will be so happy for you that they will make you feel like a part of the family.
Post # 5
Can you invite friends to make up your side?
Post # 6
My FH is in the same boat as you. I am from AZ and he is from PA, so no matter what someone’s family will have to do some extensive family. We have decided to have the wedding in my hometown, and I felt so bad for him because his list went from about 100 people to 30 when he labeled who we thought would travel.
We have given people lots of advance (a year and a half), so we know that if people truly want to be there for us, they have the time to plan ahead for it. We are getting married off peak season to make it cheaper for our guests. I know it still bothers him, but I try to console him by saying the people who truly love us and want to be there for us will be there.
What you have to realize is that your wedding isn’t about how many people are there, but the fact that those who ARE there love you and/or are welcoming you into their family. The day is about celebrating the love between you and FH, it’s not a competition to see who can fill more church pews.
If it means a lot to you, maybe downsize the guest list, so you can have closer to an equal number of guests. Make sure your FH wouldn’t have to cut out anybody he truly wants there, though, that wouldn’t be fair to him.