(Closed) Guests you don’t know?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Future Mother-In-Law wanted to invite some of her cousins that Fiance hadn’t met, but Future Sister-In-Law is getting married a month after us, so some of them might be coming to that wedding instead.

Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We got some pressure (stepdad’s siblings who live abroad) but we resisted. Our rule has been that no one who’s not CLOSE to at least one of us gets invited. This is because we’re having it at my mom’s home and have to keep the guest list under 70. That actually cut out a lot of relatives.  I know this solution wouldn’t work for everyone, but it’s been good for us.

Post # 6
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@NYE Gal, oh that IS awkward, if guests won’t know either of you!  We did like mightywombat, where we had to personally know everyone coming to the wedding. Our second requirement was that we had to WANT everyone there. When we finalized the guest list, I told Fiance if he wanted them there, leave them on the list; if he was apathetic, they got the ax! 

My aunt also wanted to invite ALL our extended family, several people I’d only met once!

Post # 7
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

I guess we’re lucky in that our families both believe that only the bride and groom have the right to choose who is invited and who isn’t. To be honest, I haven’t met anyone anywhere whose families pressured them into inviting strangers.

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We are!  I haven’t met my mom’s close friend from a board she sits on because I live 2000 km away from my parents, but she’s important to my mom, and I get that it’s a big day for my mom too, so I am okay with inviting her and her husband!

 

 

Post # 9
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have about 50 on our guest list that I have never met or heard of. They are family friends on my FH’s side.  We have a total of 225 people. FH and I just booked our Venue the other day and the max we can accomodate comfortably is 150 ppl w/o over crowding. So needless to say, I’m going to have to sit with FH and cross some names out.

Post # 10
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think for a lot of people it depends on who’s paying for the wedding.  If parents are footing the bill, they should have a good amount of say, but if you’re paying for the whole thing, I don’t think you should have to invite people you don’t know.  Also, could have to do with sibling/your order in the family – my oldest brother ended up having a HUGE wedding with lots of people he and my SIL didn’t know because both sets of parents were so excited about planning that they wanted to invite everyone they knew.  With my younger brother and I, they’ve been a little more chill.

Post # 11
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MrsCunningham2B: I have a similar situation! my FI’s family is ginormous, and our list was getting in the 250 range, the max the venue could hold was about 230, but the max our budget could hold was about 200! I have been slicing and dicing that list!!

Post # 12
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My parents invited a ton of people i didn’t know! I was annoyed with it at 1st but then i remembered they are paying for it so if they wanted to include their friends and clients they could. I am also the only girl so it was a one time thing for them! My dad wanted to include a bunch of clients and i laughed at him because it was kinda like he was using it for business lol Plus there were a lot of people from my husband’s side that i had not met, like old family friends. 

I wasn’t that big of a deal for us because everyone was there to celebrate and have fun. It’s not like the extra guests kept me from having fun and being with my friends. But once again it was mainly because my parents were the one footing the bill. 

Post # 13
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@SadieBee:This is exactly what’s happening with us, except that I’m the first in my family.  SIGH!

Post # 14
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jillieb: Scary feeling wasn’t it….looking at the list get longer and longer? We even moved our wedding day from Saturday to a Friday hoping that will discourage some of our guests and not to show up. FH and I need to get our list down 125 ppl, I hope!

Post # 15
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think for many couples this situation is unavoidable. When family members are spread across the country (or around the world) it’s virtually impossible to meet them all.

Also, we are inviting a handful of our parents’ longtime coworkers (I’m talking upwards of 20 years). These people have watched us grow, put up with stories and emergency-sick-kid-pick-ups, and sent us birthday cards… but I’ve never met the ones from his side and vice versa.

I’m pretty sure that at least one of us has met every guest, or will have by the time the wedding day arrives. I don’t find it awkward at all, just a consequence of marrying into a new set of people.

Post # 16
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

FI’s parents will be inviting about 30 people we either don’t know very well or haven’t met.  But we have no concerns over it (we’re also paying for everything ourselves).

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