(Closed) Guest/Wife in Hospice–how to address invitation

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4485 posts
Honey bee

Address the invite as though they are both able to attend. It lets them know that you are thinking of them and that if they could attend, they would. Honestly, no one knows how long they will still be around so don’t dwell on that. Focus on the fact that both are still here.

Post # 4
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree, address it as they are both able to attend.

Post # 5
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oh dear.  🙁  I think I would just make sure the husband knows when the wedding is (have your dad to mention it to him) and avoid sending one altogether.  It might rub salt in their wounds to know that she won’t likely be alive by your wedding date as it will be just another thing she will be missing out on/just another thing they will have to experience without her.

Post # 7
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with Juliepants, I would avoid sending the Save The Date, just have your dad speak to his friend and let him know when the date is. When time comes for the invitation the wife will probably pass away by that point in time and you will just address the invite to the widower.

Post # 8
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you’re sending it while she is still alive I would address it to both of them and maybe write a little note about how if either or both cannot attend in person you know they will be there in spirit. If you’re send it after she passes I would send it to just him (I’m not sure why but “and guest” seems like a bad idea) and also write a little note about how sorry you will be that she won’t be able to be there in person, but that you’ll be thinking of her. If you want him to feel free to invite someone I would have your dad tell him that he’s welcome to bring a guest if he would like. It’s a horrible situation but everyone understands that life moves on, even in such a tragic time so I don’t think it’s wrong to send the save-the-dates, but a note would be nice.

Post # 9
4485 posts
Honey bee

You don’t send the invites out until 6-8 weeks before the wedding so you will know by that time if she is still alive or not. If she is gone at that point, just address it to her husband. For right now, she’s still alive so it would be hurtful to both of them to act like she’s gone already.

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