(Closed) Guilt about a small wedding…what do you guys think?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

If you want to invite more people, you can. Serve dessert and coffee at a non-meal time, which is not a faux pas, contrary to popular belief. In the end, you have to do what feels right to you. If you sacrifice your own wishes to make other people happy, you will go crazy in the process and have regrets becasue you weren’t able to enjoy yourselves.

Post # 4
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having an intimate wedding.  If this is what you want to do regardless of money, they you should do it and not feel guilty about it.  Don’t go into massive debt just because you feel bad.

I think it’s really endearing that you and your Fiance want to only share this precious moment with those who are very close with you.  Cheers for that!

Post # 5
Member
7408 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You should do exactly what you feel comfortable with.  We are only having 50 people- because those 50 peole are the ones who really matter to us.  I would not want a big wedding- it would not be me.

Post # 6
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think it’s great you want to keep your wedding special! If you are truly worried about hurting the feelings of not-so-close friends and family, maybe a month or so after the wedding you can throw a small party for everyone, like a backyard barbecue or even a potluck at a nearby park to celebrate. This way everyone can be involved somehow, and your budget doesn’t have to be spread too thin.

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you don’t have the money to invite 200-300 people don’t do it just because other people are…. i mean serious how many of those 200 people are really that close to the bride and groom…. it’s great for the people that do it but don’t feel like you HAVE to because it’s what others do.

We’re have a super small ceremony… and when i sat small i mean… my brother and my partners brother (witnesses) and my partners two children… and the photogapher….. we are having a party that night to surprise people but still thats only going to be like 20 people.

Do what you want…. and don’t feel guilty! there is no need to feel guilty

Post # 8
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honey GO FOR IT!!! What you’ve described is exactley what I wanted, but I dind’t have the spine to insit upon a small affair. Now I’m hosting a 300 person affair, with invites going to people neither I not Fiance really know well. It really really bothers me sometiems. So go for what YOU want, you’ll not regret it.

Post # 9
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

do whatever makes you happy. we’re having a 30 person ceremony because i’m not ok with having hundreds of people looking at me. sure, people are upset and giving us crap about it, but oh well. they will get over it, and we’ll have a fabulous wedding. sometimes you just have to think about yourself, and your wedding is one of those times.

Post # 10
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wanted a small wedding – 50 people or so. But in my family, since Im the only daughter it is not an option. 150 people are invited to the reception, but in order to cut down costs it will be a cocktail reception.

Glad you are doing what YOU want to, its the most important thing, I wouldnt feel guilty about it at all!

Post # 11
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had a small wedding as well-about 25 people attended 🙂  My sister, on the other hand, 300 people at her wedding.  It just wasn’t my preference-go for what you want!

Post # 12
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I say to go for it! Don’t let people be pushy about the guest list and don’t feel guilty about not inviting everyone you know! It is about you and your fiance and the people that are truly meaningful to you in your lives. When it comes down to it, no matter how big your guest list is you are going have to leave someone out… but you should do what you and your fiance want to do and what will make y’all’s day special :]

Post # 13
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’re also having a small wedding with only 24 guests. We are pretty private people and while we know a lot of people, we wanted to share this special occasion with those closest to us which is our immediate families and some friends.

We’ve gotten a lot of support from friends that are 20-25 years older than us who understand why we’re doing it this way, but some family and younger friends are upset. Can’t please everyone!

Post # 14
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I really wanted to do a small wedding (50, that’d be family and bridal party only since my mom has a big family) but our parents threw a fit. They wanted their cousins and friends invited since they feel they have been a part of our lives. Honestly, I just bit the bullet on this one because they offered financial support if we had a bigger wedding. I’d still rather have the small, intimate wedding in my favorite venue that holds no more than 120, and only about 70 comfortably, but oh well. 

Post # 15
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I think small weddings are awesome, and you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty. If you and your Fiance want to have a smaller affair with only close family there, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Post # 16
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think you said it perfectly – “We want to treat those we love to something special” ! That pretty much sums up exactly what I think most people want at the very root of their wedding planning.  The number and the details are the only difference. 🙂

Don’t worry.  I think it sounds special and intimate. Later in life, if you and your husband can and want to throw a big, huge party, you can!!!!  You don’t HAVE to do it right now.  Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty!  Enjoy it, savor it and try to embrace what will make it different and special for you!

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