(Closed) Guilt about a small wedding…what do you guys think?

posted 12 years ago in Reception
Post # 17
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think intimate weddings are wonderful!

We are having a wedding of 60 including us and wedding party! And I have not regretted our choice once!

Do what you want to do and stand by your choice!

Post # 18
4437 posts
Honey bee

I agree that you should stand by your choice! We’re also having a small wedding, 65 people. It’s only family and very close friends. It’s not stingy. I feel the same way about the budget. I have a small budget and I definitely went for spending more per person and inviting less people.

Post # 20
113 posts
Blushing bee

I think having a small wedding is SMART! I have friends inviting hundreds of people to their weddings (including their hairdresser, their mom’s hairdresser, etc.) most of whom they will never have any contact with in 5 years. Not everyone wants to go in debt over a wedding, and I agree about not wanting to spread the money thinly over the masses. I am having a wedding with under 50 and cannot imagine inviting more because the people we have chosen to invite are  people who have been in of lives for years and will continue to be in our lives for years to come! If you are seriously torn about not wanting to hurt people’s feelings.. consider a destination our out of town wedding. That will weed out the people who don’t really see your wedding being worth the trip without having any hurt feelings. We are having an out of town wedding and that has helped with keeping the numbers down! Check out intimateweddings.com for inspiration for small weddings.

Post # 21
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@cherryblossom: we totally did that (had a destination type wedding, about an hour away from 1/2 of the guest list and a full 6 hours from the other half).  And we did it on a Thursday, that way we’ll have no hurt feelings and the folks that really want to be there to see us married will be.

Post # 22
3340 posts
Sugar bee

I had a wedding with only 25 guests.  It was awesome.  Everyone kept telling me how they wish their wedding had been so intimate!  We enjoyed ourselves and we were able to meet with everyone and mingle at the reception and still eat our food and cake.  I loved my wedding, so I say do it.

Post # 23
4 posts
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think everyone secretly wishes they had a small wedding – only society, family commitments and the ‘rules’ dictate that you don’t..

We are having around 30 guests, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!  We considered eloping – just to escape the stigma of not inviting every colleague and distant relative.  But in the end decided that we only wanted our closest friends and family there for this special occasion.

So we too are having a ‘grand’ reception for a few guests – exactly the way we wanted – and why should we feel guilty when we are the ones paying for it?!  

That money spent on having all your ‘closest’ 100 fam & friends could be spent so much more wisely in my opinion…

Post # 24
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Check out the blog “intimateweddings.com” if you need some inspiration!  The weddings they feature there are so lovely.

Post # 25
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011
Post # 26
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We’re having about 40-45 people, so I’m with you on having a smaller wedding. I wish it could be smaller but I don’t like having to choose one person over another, so this is about as small as we could get it. I say, if you want it small, don’t feel bad about it. It’s your personal choice– be proud of it. I am very looking forward to my smaller wedding, because it will be so much nicer and less stressful than if I had chosen to have a big wedding.

Post # 27
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I finally wrote my list up over the weekend and its only about 30 people ( including children) that we think will come.  It’s partially due to our age, the age and health of our familes, and the fact I really dont think MY big day is the big day for everyone else.   I think the biggest trick is to find a venue where your crowd looks like a crowd;)

Post # 28
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We had a beautiful wedding with a dozen guests.  That allowed us to really treat those we invited–providing accommodations for everyone at our expense, having a reception with a choice of lobster or filet mignon as entrees, etc.  No one was complaining!

Post # 29
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

my wedding is for 22 people,  which includes me and Fiance…..for the reason the same as the OP…..i am not a show person,  neither is my partner and thats why i dont think there will even be any speeches.   just a nice meal for us and 20 of our nearest and dearest,  i cant wait.  

Post # 30
46 posts
  • Wedding: January 2012

We’re having a wedding with about 70 guests, consisting mainly of close friends and family. We didn’t want a ‘conference’ style wedding with some 200+ people we barely knew or liked.   There are other pluses to a smaller wedding: you have more options for choosing a venue, you get to save more money (even splurge for things that really matter) and you get to spend more time with your guests.  Enjoy it!

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