- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Hello, Bees! I’m very new to the site, and I’m very excited to hear from you all.
I am a budget-conscious bride who has gotten herself into a dress-buying pickle. I am guilt-ridden for having two unwanted dresses (with reason) and am mortified of shopping again.
What I’m asking:
- How do I shake feeling guilty about buying and being dissatisfied with two dresses?
- I try, but I can’t seem to stop! I’m afraid I’m being selfish, superficial, and materialistic.
To make an extrememly long story short, I was blinded by bargains as I wanted to stick to a very low budget. My first dress I liked at first, but became very unattractive the more I planned for it, (veil, shoes, etc.) Our seasons and venue changed, making it way over the top. The second dress was a cheap alternative that I like much better than the first, but is riddled with alterations I want to have done, and the large chain company I purchased it from has greatly disappointeed me. Both dresses were no holds, unable to be ordered, and all sales final. I can post the original novel of a post I wrote if it would interest anyone. 🙂
If I was honest, my dress-buying experience was horrid- a large percentage of it my own fault. (It was none of my friends’ faults.) I wish I would’ve never started. I learned so much about not settling, listening to your gut, knowing your MAXIMUM budget and not shooting for an absolute minimum, and not talking yourself into thinking a certain way about a dress. I am very lucky to have spent less than $1,000 on my two dresses, and have been actively trying to sell for months. I’m about ready to pay consignment shops to sell my dresses just so I can have some of my money back.
This time around, I WILL NOT buy a dress same day. I don’t care if there are any sales going on. I will relish in the fact the dress that I choose will not be discontinued, and I will have time to think and order. I will go in knowing it’s okay to spend SOME money. I will not talk myself out of silhouettes of dresses that take my breath away because I thought I wouldn’t want them. I know so much about what I do and don’t want now. However… I am PETRIFIED even with this new mindset that I will be one of those brides that I fear, and simply fall out of love with a dress again. I wish I could find my favorite dress the week before and have it on my wedding day. I know exactly why I am in the position I am now, with the sales, trying to fix problems cheaply, and ignoring red flags. However, now I am paralyzed to shop for my dream dress. I know it’s irrational to be afraid I’ll have a reaction I haven’t even had. I don’t want to be shallow and suddenly hate my third dress because I see a million have worn it, or that it won’t match the venue, or time of day, or if it’s too pretty, not special enough… I simply don’t know what to do.
I’m looking forward to having the positive dress experience I’ve wanted all along. I’m guessing one or two of these questions can’t be answered, but I wish I could shop without worry, and be as excited to wear my special dress as I am to walk down the aisle to my love.
Stay, positive, Bees. That’s what I’m learning to do!